From a few weeks ago:

It's dreary and rainy outside today. The rustle of the bushes up against the house and the soft drizzle I see on the window make me glad I'm staying in for most of the day. But I love it. Little people sleep longer on days like this, and when they are awake they want to cuddle under blankets and listen to book after book. We've done a few chores today, but mostly we've just snuggled.

In all honestly, I prefer the sun over grey skies. Summer is my season, and I love the heat and the vitamin D-induced mental stability. :) But I have learned to see the benefits of a day without sun - and other less than favorite circumstances too.

The Lord has been teaching me about His perspective recently - learning to be thankful for what He brings instead of only viewing it from my own vantage point. Because there are always two ways to look at something. Just like grey skies. Will I choose to really see His hand in things? Or will I focus on what I would rather be doing?

For me, this has been the key to joy - thankfulness in all things.

Today while I was studying for BSF, this thought jumped out at me in the notes. It was in reference to Paul's third missionary journey {we're studying Acts}, and the continuous persecution and physical and spiritual hardships he faced along with his daily tent-making. Yet some of his weightiest books were written during this time.

Let us not pray for easier lives but for greater power...blessing out of every pressure and trial.

It challenged me - when I am tempted to be discouraged or overwhelmed, I can cast myself on Him and ask for extra strength to face the trial. Who knows what blessing God will bring out of it!

_

From today:

The kids are in bed, and Dave is out getting the last of my groceries for the week, sweet guy that he is. Tomorrow the boys are out of school, so I didn't want to grocery shop on their day off - and besides, after my last grocery shopping trip with everyone {after which I called him and ranted on and on}, he informed me that I need to stop doing that {shopping with kids, not the ranting, although he'd probably prefer I not do that either}. I should say, the kids aren't really the problem...they are pretty well-behaved in the store, actually. It is more that I can't think when I'm in there with everyone, or even a few of them. And that leads to very lengthy shopping trips and major frustration on my part. Pretty sure this fourth kid is just sending me over the edge. ;) How did I ever manage multiple patients in the ICU??? Anyway, he is sweet, and always has a solution to every problem I ever face {smile}. Today that meant I went to Aldi in the afternoon, and he went to Dillons for me later. Love him.

I have been sitting here praying over this crazy week ahead, asking the Lord for grace and strength to do His will each day. On paper, it looks almost impossible, and I'd already rather hide at home instead {not an option}. But I was reminded again of what I wrote above, and how an easier life is not my goal. More blessing from the Lord, more of His strength, more glory to Him - these are my goals. I think I will be praying a lot this week!

Here is my list of thanks for the week - the Lord has been so faithful to me:

130. Mondays and the chance to lay all my plans at His feet

131. Sick girlie snuggles

132. Rearrangement of schedules

133. A very kind Headmaster who understands boys

134. Encouragement from those who have already trekked this road

135. Give Them Grace

136. Valentine's breakfast with the fam

137. A gentle dentist

138. Saturday jobs

139. Peace in our home

140. The most loving, amazing daddy for my children

141. Snuggling the oldest - a rarity!

142. Sushi and dark chocolate, a grocery store treat from my dearest

143. God's evident goodness, despite the raging storms in my heart that threaten daily to overturn my boat. Yet He remains faithful to His Word and to His character; my part is simply to cling to Him.

I'm Back

I started running again a few weeks ago. Granted I'm not running that far yet, or for very long, but I have really missed it. The chance to pound out miles...all the while pounding out my problems too. I do most of my thinking and praying while I'm running, maybe just because it is the one time during the day when I'm not in survival mode or needed at once by every kid in the room, I don't know. But as soon as I get on that treadmill and the endorphins start flowing, I find myself overwhelmed with thankfulness for this blessed little life I lead.

Even though the past year has literally been the hardest thing I have ever done.

There has been shock over a new pregnancy, months of severe morning sickness, extreme mommy guilt over missing out on so much because of it...and then now that he's here, it has been even harder, to be honest. So much to juggle. So many little needs - emotional, behavioral, spiritual needs. I have 4 children now, and they are all so important to me! It breaks my heart to turn a child away to wait while I try to soothe a screaming baby.

{But Jonas doesn't scream much anymore, thankfully. When he was about 8 weeks old I figured out that he was sensitive to dairy, so I've been eating diary free for the last month. Good news is, he is happy and content most of the time now...and I have lost 5 lbs in the process. :) Turns out a lot of what I like to eat falls into the dairy category. }

The last couple of weeks have been so much better - still hard at times, but there have been glimpses of the sweet gift of having a family of 6 too. And that God is good all the time.

It's been awhile since I listed His gifts, so tonight I'm thankful for -

97. Laughter around the table

98. Our nightly talks with the boys

99. The special bond we see forming between certain look-alike siblings

100. Help from family

101. Dairy-free chocolate

102. Daily reports home from a precious teacher who loves our son

103. The conviction that came after much prayer and discipline

104. A 5 year old's excitement over salvation!

105. That both my boys professed to come to know Him this month

106. Grief over sin

107. A husband who doesn't lose heart

108. Restored fellowship with sons, and the closeness that it brings

109. Basketball season

110. Obvious fruit in little people's lives

111. Sharing morning devotions with my oldest

112. Renewed passion for motherhood

So many reasons to praise the Lord this week:

82. Watching my son work hard to overcome a batting slump.

83. 3 hits in one game.

84. Date night, and a little closer to having a name for our son.



85. Sweet neighbor friend for the boys to play with.

86. A night away with my love.


87. King Salmon special.

88. Watching my kids play with an old friend's kids - hoping lasting friendships form!


89. Piles of fabric on my dining room table.

90. A bed for Clare.

91. Learning to let go {a bit} and trust Him with my children.


92. Collins Park parade - a hidden treasure

93. Shade


94. The special bond between my daughter and her Grandma Hart.



95. Lots of family time

96. 59 more days!

Slow summer days

Oops. It's been almost 10 weeks since my last post. I didn't mean to let this part of my pregnancy go so undocumented, but with summer here, I guess I've been busy enough to stay off the computer.

I am so very thankful to be feeling less nauseous and more like my old self. Now it's just normal third trimester aches and pains - heartburn, achy back and legs, anemia - but I'll take this over the beginning any day.

And yet even this far into it, it still hardly feels real. In about 9 weeks I'll be holding our newborn son, and I seriously can't wrap my mind around it! Who is he? Will he be blond too? What is his name????? ;)

But the Lord is good, and His gifts to me, so evident! Here is my count from the last couple months:

70. Laid back summer days with my 3 blondies - what a precious gift this is!

71. Ice cold coke

72. Kansas heat {not quite so painful as Oklahoma heat}

73. The hospitality of family

74. The chance for my children to spend all summer with cousins - from both sides of the family

75. Afternoons spent swimming

76. A thriving garden and the thrill that it brings the kids

77. Finally feeling like I have a good home management routine down - a year after we've moved in, and in my third trimester no less!

78. Living a quiet life

79. The privilege of being a part of VBS this year

80. Another baseball season almost complete

81. Date nights with my love

Midday rest for the Mama

The temp on my computer reads 54, and my bedroom windows are open - a real taste of spring! That, and the fact that my boys are playing happily in the backyard together, concocting up some sort of pirate scheme complete with eye patches and drawn treasure maps, last I heard. I have missed our backyard so much this winter.

Meanwhile Clare sleeps on, wonderful napper that she is. She needs it today - she's had a little fever and just not been herself. Poor baby. She's ready for spring too.



I'm 15 weeks tomorrow {I think}, and definitely starting to feel better. Still quite dependent on Zofran some days, but others I can get by with just one pill or half and almost feel normal. My energy levels have picked up this last week, and I'm actually doing some simple cooking and cleaning and exercising again. And it feels amazing!

Granted, I still have some days that are 1st trimester all over again {usually when I've had a busy weekend or been on my feet all day the day before}, but having some break in the sickness is such a relief.

Many people have prayed for me, and helped me out during this time...and I am so very thankful. I long to be the one who can offer help again, instead of always being on the receiving end. It's a rather humbling place to be. :)

But it has been special too, to be ministered to. To see the Holy Spirit whispering in someone else's ear about me - to feel the Lord's care for me in a real physical way - it has given me so much encouragement. Really, I am seeing how much this practical *meeting the needs of the saints* thing matters, how necessary it is to lift up the weak ones in our group of believers, to do everything we can to keep them going. When we're struggling, we need to feel the Lord's care, and often He chooses to show it to us through people.

People who listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and obey.

This week I'm thankful for:

39. Glimpses of normal

40. 1 Zofran days

41. God's Word written so many years ago - alive and essential to my everyday life

42. Date night starting up again - sweet friends reunited

43. A bedroom {and ajoining bathroom} to relax in - it is beautiful!

44. A husband who paints

45. A changing shape

46. Hearing my love teach the Word of God

47. The preciousness of the legacy of Don Schonberg

48. The generations who follow the Lord because a man chose to lead well

49. Online job charts

50. Work ethics being developed

51. Watching my oldest sweep and mop the kitchen today - what?????

52. A ready kindergartner

53. A school we love

54. The body of Christ - and what that means practically

This post is not for anyone with a weak stomach

She cried when I laid her down for her nap today. That should have been my first clue. My little girl who begs for naps...I can't remember the last time she cried when I laid her down, if ever.

After several minutes I went and got her and put her in bed with me. She seemed happy enough to watch Dora the Explorer on my laptop while I rested, but when I went downstairs to get ready to pick up Ethan from school, I heard her scream. When I made it up the stairs, she was covered in puke. Think curdled milk.

{This is where the story gets icky, but anyone who has ever experienced morning sickness or hyperemesis can probably relate. It is bad news for an expecting mama to see puke/hear puke/touch puke. At least for me it is.}

Dave was in Lawrence in a meeting, Ethan needed to be picked up from school in 24 minutes (the school is 15 min from my house), and I had some major clean-up on my hands. Oh yes, and I was sobbing. The only calories I had consumed all day were flushed down the toilet, and it left me pretty shaky. I am ever so thankful for my friend Ashley, and her willingness to pick Ethan up and bring him home for me. She is such a sweet friend.

I am a mess, I tell you. A mess.

By the time Ashley dropped Ethan off, I had just finished cleaning the carpet, the mattress, bleaching the tub after Clare's bath, and the sheets were going in the washer. Ethan walked in and said, "Mom, my throat hurts really bad! It has hurt all day!" And he laid down on the couch in fetal position. He just finished his round of antibiotics for strep throat 2 days ago.

It has been the longest day I can remember in a good long while. Longer than yesterday, even. :) I held Clare most of the evening {and let's just say this afternoon wasn't a fluke} and talked to the doctor's office in between cleaning her up, while Dave attempted dinner and a Dillons run to get ibuprofen. As soon as the kids were in bed, we noticed the washing machine was leaking.

Gotta have a working washing machine when the stomach flu hits. ;) ...oh my...

But as Dave was working on the washer, and I was attempting to remake our bed so I could lie down, I had this thought. Wow, things could have been so much worse. Haha, no really, its true. I am beyond exhausted now, yes, and 2 out of 3 kids are sick...but when I stop and think about the reality of the situation and all the Lord spared us from today, my perspective changes.

For instance...I am so thankful for:

29. A laptop that still works {the puke was ever so close, but not a drop on the keyboard}

30. A dependable friend

31. A mattress that we were already planning to replace - no need to worry about that one, cleaned it the best I could but we'll see.

32. A middle child who rarely gets sick and knows how to play on his own when the going gets tough around here.

33. An email today, reminding us of our free period of the Starz movie channel. Playing tonight: Up and Planet 51. Thank you, Lord.

34. 2 extra hours to get my Azure order in.

35. Dillons mashed potatoes.

36. A washing machine that leaked after my sheets were clean, not before.

37. A handy husband who attempts to fix issues on his own {and sends me to bed}.

38. Tomorrow: a chance to stay home and hibernate in this blizzard. :)

I'm sure there are more things to praise Him for, but my eyes are heavy now. Janet posted this quote on fb today that sums it all up:

"A willing acceptance of all that God assigns and a glad surrender of all that I am and have, constitute the key to receiving the gift of a quiet heart."

Elizabeth Elliott, Keep a Quiet Heart, p. 12

At the end of the day...

Today has been long. Dave got free tickets to the KU game, so I haven't seen him since he left this morning.

I haven't done the evening routine with the kids in a couple months now, so tonight was a bit of a stretch for me, energy wise. But it went smoothly, and when I was cuddled up with two boys, still damp from the bath, we just read and read. They both laid a head on my shoulders when we prayed.

Simon wanted to know if I can feel the baby. Yes, amazingly enough, I can.


Ethan wanted to know how big it is. About the size of a grape, E. He cocks his head and thinks on that one for a bit. :)

They are getting excited, and it is very sweet to watch. Reminds me of how they prayed for a baby sister for so many months, and how much they both adore her now. Family is precious.

I have so many things to be thankful for, but these are His blessings I've noticed today...



21. Flowers in bloom, just days later!




22. Faithful friends who pray.

23. Grace to make it through the difficult task I was worried about this weekend.

24. Dinner in the crockpot by 9 am.

25. The energy to make yogurt this morning.




26. And pumpkin bread too. Haven't baked in a good long while.



27. Mornings without morning sickness.

28. Evenings are a different story, but even then, there is grace. And zofran.

27. An engineer husband, passing on his skills.



28. A tiny heart, beating steady. We are so blessed.

Joining...

Beginning to write them down

Reading Ann's book has inspired me to record the little things I am thankful for, an exercise in learning the discipline of gratefulness. Because I want my perspective to be His perspective. To see the day, the moment, as He sees it.

{A Christmas ago, Dave bought me Nancy Lee DeMoss' book Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy on a whim, and it was just what I needed to read. It is very much the same message as 1000 Gifts. Both authors encourage practicing thankfulness, to make it the habit of your life. And truly, this has been life-changing for me - to look for His hand, the good, in all circumstances. It brings so much peace and contentment...and joy!}

I read through my blog a few weeks ago and was inspired again to keep recording our little lives and the things the Lord has been teaching me. I forget so quickly...and this journaling that I've done so far is important. So that I can look back and really see...

So today I'm thankful for...

1. Quiet times {that aren't really quiet} when my oldest wants to join me. He is reading through John. Precious!
2. Sharing with each other what the Lord showed us in our reading.
   
   
   
   
   
3. Asking the Lord to help us submit to the Holy Spirit today (Galations 5), and talking about what that means.
   
4. Winter whites, shooting up on the table. Planted only a week and a half ago! Every day we watch them grow a little and we are amazed!
   
   
   
   
   
5. Messages from boys.
   
   
   
   
   
6. A hard day, opportunity to work on someone's heart.
7. The cheerful obedience that follows.
   
8. Basil growing up tall. I can't wait to have a garden!
   
   
   
   
   
9. The first blizzard I can remember.
10. Passion tea from Starbucks, and sweet friends that drop it by and stay awhile.
11. Dave home early. Never happens!
    
12. The offer of a snow blower from a neighbor.
    
13. Snow days, now 5 this year already.
14. Choosing fun over chores...snow icecream!
    
    
    
    
    
15. A daughter to raid her daddy's candy drawer.
    
    
    
    
    
16. Beautiful children.
17. Brothers who love each other.
    
    
    
    
    
18. Netflix.
    
19. A husband who helps.
    
20. And children who do too.
    

"The Lord looks from heaven;
He sees all the sons of men...
He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works.
Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,
on those who hope in His mercy...
our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name."
Psalm 33:13-21

Anything less than gratitude and trust is practical atheism. Are stress and worry evidences of a soul too lazy, too undisciplined, to keep gaze fixed on God? ...Isn't joy worth the effort of trust? - Ann Voskamp

Joining...