Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Trust

Thanks for all the prayers - I have had some really good days (by new standards, anyway) but there have been some not so good ones mixed in there too. Currently I'm on the couch, trying to hold down my dinner. Aren't you glad you know that?

Here's what's been going on in our world:
  • Friday I had my first experience watching someone else clean my house for me. It was surprisingly easy to handle, and I did not feel the least bit of guilt as I sat and watched my boys play outside while she scrubbed the floors. Reveals a little of how I'm feeling these days, that's for sure. It was the most wonderful thing to have a totally clean house - all at one time. It's been awhile. I'm not sure who enjoyed it more - Dave or me - he's been pretty shocked at the state of things around here.




  • Friday evening my parents came into town for the weekend. Ethan played his last soccer game on Saturday morning, and they wanted to be here for that. After the game, Aunt Kim took the kids to a parade, and we had a late breakfast out with Mom and Dad. Then we watched OU lose - there were a few sad people around here....

  • We spent the afternoon watching Dad pitch to the boys in the backyard and talking about the economy. Then we headed back to the church where soccer is held for the awards ceremony and dinner. And then comes the fun part....

  • Let me back up. About a week ago, I was sitting out in the garage watching the boys ride their bikes in the driveway. I happened to lift up a box in the corner of the garage (it just looked odd, the way it was positioned...believe me, I wasn't snooping around!) and I stumbled upon a bag of party supplies...with a "Look who's 30!!" banner among other things, streamers, plates, cups, etc... I immediately hid it again, but the damage was done. I wasn't anticipating a party before that, but I decided to keep it a secret, and let Dave have his fun. :)

  • So when we got home from the awards ceremony, I walked into my basement filled with over 50 of my dear friends and family. Sorry to disappoint you all that I wasn't more surprised. :) Great job on everything - it was a wonderful time, regardless!

  • And Dad made a video of my life so far. It was so sweet - I have definitely lived a blessed life.

  • Monday I had my first OB appointment. I had forgotten how long those go, or I never would have attempted to bring the boys along. Two words - pap smear. Okay, now you know what an idiot I am! :) And then no one could find the baby's heartbeat by Doppler, after 10 minutes of trying...and my kids are asking, "Why can't they hear it, Mommy?" over, and over, and over again. Good times. Finally the nurse practitioner snagged another doctor in the office to do a quick sono, to make sure everything's okay. At this point, I am unsure how I will explain to my children why there isn't a heartbeat. Why, oh why, did I bring them again???? Ethan is waaaay too aware of what is going on.

  • Anyway, the sono showed our darling little one, moving all over, bringing its fist to its mouth. Heart rate was 150. It's a boy again - I just know it!

I felt the Lord's presence with me in that sono room - so unsure of what I was going to see on that screen. But the boys' Sunday School verse came to mind,

"Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You."
Psalm 56:3

I know with a certainty that this little one is held in our Heavenly Father's hands. He is Elohim, the Creator of our child. He is El Elyon, the Most High God. Nothing touches this child without His consent. And He is El Roi, the God who sees every detail of its life, even the things to come. The name of the Lord truly is a strong tower that we can run to and be safe! Safe from the burden of worrying about the unknown. Safe from the "what-if's" that surround us. Safe from the need to know the future. It is all in His hands. I think I will choose to trust in the name of my God!

19 comments:

Jessie said...

I love the names of God! I am enjoying learning a new one every week. Thanks for the reminder.
I'm glad the SS verses are helpful, maybe you can pick a prize out of the prize box on Sunday :)
So glad to hear everything with the baby is fine, and thanks for stopping by let's do it again some time.

Kelly said...

I'm so thankful that everything is going well with your little baby! I'm sorry you're feeling crummy still. You've been on my mind and heart and in my prayers a lot lately. And, I'm so so sorry I couldn't be there on Sat. night for your party! It killed me that I had to work and wouldn't be there to celebrate with you, dear friend!

Michelle said...

What a good choice - to trust in His name. When the perfect God of the universe chooses to love us in our filthy state, how can we ever doubt His abilities?

I very distinctly remember the last time I brought the kids with me to an OB appt, where I had the same "procedure" done.

I'm glad you had a wonderful birthday celebration. God is so good, isn't He?

HopiQ said...

I'm so glad everything is all right and you were able to see and hear your new little one!

and...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

The Daniel Den said...

I love that we can have peace from the one true God that knows us, made us, is perfecting His work in us, holds us and picks perfectly what we need wether it is hard or not!!!!!

We love you and our praying for you and your little one.

Eryn said...

what a beautiful post. happy birthday! by the way. how is 30? i am coming up on it all too soon.

bandanachick said...

Good post Rachel.
I can't imagine having E there to listen while they are searching for the heartbeat. That must have been so scary! I'm glad everything turned out though and your little baby is doing well.
We will continue to pray for you and your pregnancy. I know that first trimester is SO tough, but its worth it.
Oh, and how come I wasn't invited to the surprise party? ;)

Christina said...

Oh, Rachel, I know what that feels like! Sometimes it takes those moments of fear to make us realize where our trust truely lies.

Your family is in my prayers. I know Mom being down and out is an adjustment for everyone! They don't realize how much we do until we're unable to do it (or charge them for it!)

Rory said...

Thanks Rachel for your encouraging words! He is true and faithful and we will never be disappointed with His plans for us or our little ones! We truly are safe in Him! It's comforting to know that our future lies in the hands of the One who gave His own Son for us. What a loving Savior!

jenica said...

I can't imagine motherhood without knowing that the Lord loves these little ones(and unborn babies) more than me and has a purpose for their life.

Happy 30th! Fun, huh?!

What a great person that was to come clean you house! And I'm glad you don't feel bad. Who really cares if your sinks are wiped out every day?!

Take care, I bet you're so close to feeling good more than not.

Shawna said...

When I read your thoughts at the end there about how He is the God who sees, "He is El Roi, the God who sees every detail of its life, even the things to come." It reminded me of Hagar's response to the Lord after He spoke to her. She said, "Have I also here seen Him who sees me?"

Isn't it incredible how the Lord has used this time in learning about His names, and who He is? I can barely wrap my mind around how intricate His plan is for each of us. To teach us about Himself, and then lead us through daily things, that can only leave us testifying, Have I also here seen Him who sees Me?" Such an awesome gift from Him.

Thanks for sharing!

Melissa said...

Might we all learn to trust in His awesome names more and more. Thanks for that note Rachel : )

The 4th Quarter said...

Rachel
Thanks for sharing. I'm so thankful your little one is doing ok. I found on my third pregnancy and having a toddler and a 2 1/2 year old to take care of was very tiring especially when I didn't feel well. But your sister is right! It's so worth it. That little third one was Scott and he's been such a blessing to us.

Sarah said...

I loved this post...from the confession of your "finds" to the precious words of wisdom regarding our Sovereign God. I am bummed to hear you JUST turned 30, cuz I had it in my mind you were older than me. :-( I'll continue to pray for that sweet life growing inside of you.

Anonymous said...

We are so excited for this new and latest cousin that's on his/her way, and sorry for your scare in the office. Thank the Lord for His protective hands holding even (or should I say especially) the unborn. By the way, Jake says you're having a girl. :) However, when it comes right down to it, I think he'd be pretty excited to have another wrestling partner. Sonja E

marti said...

We rejoice with you all in your news of another on the way!

How fun that they did that for your b-day. I always think of you on that day since it follows our anniversary!

Kim & Dave said...

For some reason, the Lord brought you to mind this morning! I thought I would runover to your blog to see how you guys are.

What GREAT news to start my day! Congrats, & I will pray you have a safe & healthy pregnancy & that you have a girl-wink!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the wonderful reminders about our God. It is way to easy to get worried and not trust but He is our promise maker and keeper! Glad the ultrasound looked good!
~Robin
PS ~ Happy Birthday! :)

Jay's Mom said...

Congrats on your new little one! I've been following your blog for a while now but I am always bad about being shy on people's blogs. I'm due with my second boy in December, well at least we think it is a boy, but the ultrasound was a little wishywashy. Anyways, congrats again and good luck!