Things have been looking up. My doctor prescribed an antihistamine and B6 combo for me that has really helped curb the evening sickies - so thankful for that. I honestly feel like relief is just around the corner anyway (I'm 11ish weeks), but I sure didn't feel that way this weekend. So I am giving pharmaceuticals a try. My hubby is glad - very glad. :)
With all this time in bed (or on the couch) I've made lots of headway on the stack of books in my bedside table. At least enough that I feel sufficiently guilty for everything I'm not doing right now. I feel like I'm mostly just surviving the days - not making best use of every teachable moment with these kiddos. Can't wait for this first trimester to be over! :)
One book in particular has been so encouraging though. The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. It is about following Christ's example in reaching the hearts of our children. There is so much to process in that book - I know I'll have to reread it - and much of it applies to older children than I currently have. But a particular chapter really spoke to my heart yesterday. Sally was telling a story about one of her older children who was having trouble with impatience and outbursts at younger siblings on a certain day. In private she gently counseled the child,
"I have been so encouraged by your growth in the Lord. It is so exciting to see your passion for Him and the way you long for Him to use you. I know He will do something special in and through you in His own time. But it is so easy to get excited about the big things and then allow yourself to blow it in all the mundane moments of life. If you give yourself license to get angry and frustrated every time you feel you can justify it, then you risk sacrificing your testimony as you grow older..."
That is so good, isn't it???
The child humbly agreed that it was wrong to be so impatient, and admitted how much he desired to control himself. But he couldn't figure out how. And so she took him to Galatians 5:16, the secret really, to the Christian life.
"Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh."
That's the secret then - to learn to yield my life and my emotions and my actions moment by moment to Him. Because it really is my human tendancy to let things irritate me, to grow impatient, whether its with my children, or just the frustrations of life in general (accompanied by constant nausea! not an excuse - I'm just saying!).
I have good intentions with this whole mothering thing. I want to do an excellent job with what God has for me here on earth, but I have a wee little tendancy towards blowing it on the mundane moments. Lord, I need Your Spirit to give me strength to reflect Your supernatural responses to life's crazy demands! What a good reminder that was today.