Reading together

Overheard on my bed this morning:

"Simon, I am going to read you a story from my Bible. It's the one about God and the man that pushed each other. It's a good one...."

"...oh, and here's the one about the Lord Jesus. Don't laugh at Him. He is God."

Lest you think they are too spiritually minded, the reading quickly turned into a wrestling match. Gotta go!

2 (and a half)

Simon,
You are 2 and a half now, as you tell everyone you meet, and you are really growing up. Every day you make us laugh - just by your seriousness about everything. When we ask you why you are doing something, your favorite reply is, "Just because." I think you must have heard that somewhere a time or two.

You are still obsessed with all things Cars Movie and related. You sit for long periods of time and line up cars in a row, most of which are different versions of Lightning McQueen that your push-over mom is guilty of buying you. But oh the delight on your face! I can't resist it. Will you be an engineer someday like your daddy, with all this methodical play? I wonder as I watch you.

You are also a copy cat. Yes, you want to do everything Ethan does, and right behind him. You two are rarely apart. What will you do next year when he goes to kindergarten? I am thinking you won't know what to do with yourself - good thing another little playmate is coming.

You came in a little while ago and asked for a wink (even though you know how to say "drink," you always still call it that).

I love you, sweet boy.

help!

So how far along does my baby ticker say that I am? It reads correctly for me (and my sister) - 11 weeks, 3 days - but not for everyone! So I'm curious. Is it an isolated event with her computer, or do I need to redo the code? Let me know!

Simon says

After a scuffle in the living room, Ethan approached me, crying. Simon, it seems, hit him on the head in frustration over a toy they both wanted. I disciplined Simon and told him to use his words next time he was frustrated - or to ask me for help.

A minute later, Simon walks in again and lays his head on my arm, "Mom, can you help me hit Ethan on the head?"

Good try, little boy.

Mundane moments

Things have been looking up. My doctor prescribed an antihistamine and B6 combo for me that has really helped curb the evening sickies - so thankful for that. I honestly feel like relief is just around the corner anyway (I'm 11ish weeks), but I sure didn't feel that way this weekend. So I am giving pharmaceuticals a try. My hubby is glad - very glad. :)

With all this time in bed (or on the couch) I've made lots of headway on the stack of books in my bedside table. At least enough that I feel sufficiently guilty for everything I'm not doing right now. I feel like I'm mostly just surviving the days - not making best use of every teachable moment with these kiddos. Can't wait for this first trimester to be over! :)

One book in particular has been so encouraging though. The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. It is about following Christ's example in reaching the hearts of our children. There is so much to process in that book - I know I'll have to reread it - and much of it applies to older children than I currently have. But a particular chapter really spoke to my heart yesterday. Sally was telling a story about one of her older children who was having trouble with impatience and outbursts at younger siblings on a certain day. In private she gently counseled the child,

"I have been so encouraged by your growth in the Lord. It is so exciting to see your passion for Him and the way you long for Him to use you. I know He will do something special in and through you in His own time. But it is so easy to get excited about the big things and then allow yourself to blow it in all the mundane moments of life. If you give yourself license to get angry and frustrated every time you feel you can justify it, then you risk sacrificing your testimony as you grow older..."

That is so good, isn't it???

The child humbly agreed that it was wrong to be so impatient, and admitted how much he desired to control himself. But he couldn't figure out how. And so she took him to Galatians 5:16, the secret really, to the Christian life.

"Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh."

That's the secret then - to learn to yield my life and my emotions and my actions moment by moment to Him. Because it really is my human tendancy to let things irritate me, to grow impatient, whether its with my children, or just the frustrations of life in general (accompanied by constant nausea! not an excuse - I'm just saying!).

I have good intentions with this whole mothering thing. I want to do an excellent job with what God has for me here on earth, but I have a wee little tendancy towards blowing it on the mundane moments. Lord, I need Your Spirit to give me strength to reflect Your supernatural responses to life's crazy demands! What a good reminder that was today.

Trust

Thanks for all the prayers - I have had some really good days (by new standards, anyway) but there have been some not so good ones mixed in there too. Currently I'm on the couch, trying to hold down my dinner. Aren't you glad you know that?

Here's what's been going on in our world:

• Friday I had my first experience watching someone else clean my house for me. It was surprisingly easy to handle, and I did not feel the least bit of guilt as I sat and watched my boys play outside while she scrubbed the floors. Reveals a little of how I'm feeling these days, that's for sure. It was the most wonderful thing to have a totally clean house - all at one time. It's been awhile. I'm not sure who enjoyed it more - Dave or me - he's been pretty shocked at the state of things around here.

• Friday evening my parents came into town for the weekend. Ethan played his last soccer game on Saturday morning, and they wanted to be here for that. After the game, Aunt Kim took the kids to a parade, and we had a late breakfast out with Mom and Dad. Then we watched OU lose - there were a few sad people around here....

• We spent the afternoon watching Dad pitch to the boys in the backyard and talking about the economy. Then we headed back to the church where soccer is held for the awards ceremony and dinner. And then comes the fun part....

• Let me back up. About a week ago, I was sitting out in the garage watching the boys ride their bikes in the driveway. I happened to lift up a box in the corner of the garage (it just looked odd, the way it was positioned...believe me, I wasn't snooping around!) and I stumbled upon a bag of party supplies...with a "Look who's 30!!" banner among other things, streamers, plates, cups, etc... I immediately hid it again, but the damage was done. I wasn't anticipating a party before that, but I decided to keep it a secret, and let Dave have his fun. :)

• So when we got home from the awards ceremony, I walked into my basement filled with over 50 of my dear friends and family. Sorry to disappoint you all that I wasn't more surprised. :) Great job on everything - it was a wonderful time, regardless!

• And Dad made a video of my life so far. It was so sweet - I have definitely lived a blessed life.

• Monday I had my first OB appointment. I had forgotten how long those go, or I never would have attempted to bring the boys along. Two words - pap smear. Okay, now you know what an idiot I am! :) And then no one could find the baby's heartbeat by Doppler, after 10 minutes of trying...and my kids are asking, "Why can't they hear it, Mommy?" over, and over, and over again. Good times. Finally the nurse practitioner snagged another doctor in the office to do a quick sono, to make sure everything's okay. At this point, I am unsure how I will explain to my children why there isn't a heartbeat. Why, oh why, did I bring them again???? Ethan is waaaay too aware of what is going on.

• Anyway, the sono showed our darling little one, moving all over, bringing its fist to its mouth. Heart rate was 150. It's a boy again - I just know it!

I felt the Lord's presence with me in that sono room - so unsure of what I was going to see on that screen. But the boys' Sunday School verse came to mind,

"Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You."
Psalm 56:3

I know with a certainty that this little one is held in our Heavenly Father's hands. He is Elohim, the Creator of our child. He is El Elyon, the Most High God. Nothing touches this child without His consent. And He is El Roi, the God who sees every detail of its life, even the things to come. The name of the Lord truly is a strong tower that we can run to and be safe! Safe from the burden of worrying about the unknown. Safe from the "what-if's" that surround us. Safe from the need to know the future. It is all in His hands. I think I will choose to trust in the name of my God!

Changes

The season is changing around here. Leaves cover our entire backyard, and it is only the beginning of October. Today it was in the mid 60's - just perfect for playing at the park with friends after a trip to the library. I love this time of year!

We are especially enjoying it this week, because it seems like we missed the whole month of September somehow. Maybe you can tell that from my blog. :( I spent a lot of the month lying down, just trying to keep my food down.


Yep! We are expecting!

The boys have done so well - and have not seemed to mind too much that they have a sick momma. They let me sleep in most days, they play together in their rooms without much supervision, they don't seem to mind how much tv they've had to consume. :) It just makes me so glad they have each other. Ethan told me the other day that he was so glad God gave him Simon as his brother, because he would be so bored without him. And I know it's true. They wake up delighted to see each other, and even when they fight, they never stay mad for very long. I am loving how close they are.

We didn't get out too much in September, so October feels fresh, new and exciting....so many places to go, so many things to see. And I'm hoping this new-found energy I have will stick around. Because it's only been a couple days now that I've been feeling better.... and I'm not yet out of my first trimester. So you never can tell. But still, I am thankful for these last few days where I've felt semi-normal again. Cooking, attempting to clean, showering... :). Ah yes, as you can imagine, Dave is pretty excited too!

But Dave and I are just so thankful for this new life inside of me! What a blessing to already have such wonderful children, and to be entrusted with another precious one. Through the last year or so, the Lord has taught us so much of what it means to trust Him with our children - those we have, and those we don't - and I'm sure there are many more lessons to come in the years ahead. But through all of it, what stands out the most to us is how much more the Lord cares for our children than we even do. He is orchestrating their lives in such a way to lead them to Himself, from conception's first moment until they breathe their last breath. He has planned their days, and by His grace, He has chosen us to be the ones to lead them along!

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance,
in Your book were written,
every one of them, the days that were formed for me
when as yet there was none of them."
Psalm 139:16