But when the days come that I've signed up to work, more often than not, I dread going in. And not just because I miss my boys when I'm there.
Just as an aside, I don't always feel the way I did last night, you know, joyful in my role the Lord has given me and content to stay at home. I feel like I have to admit that, because it's so true! My attitude is definitely not always content, so don't for a minute think that I have it all figured out. Really, because of my own stubbornness, I often resist the Lord's way, assuming I can juggle a million tasks and do it all. But He is so gracious to continue His work in me, and to remind me of the truth. I am so thankful to know with a certainty that He wants me here at home, to be assured that the work I'm doing matters.
But back to what I was saying, the reason I dread going into work is because of the people that I work with. I guess when I worked full time, before we had kids, I had gotten used to the way the world interacts, the crudeness, the selfishness, the bad language. But it's just oppressive now, to be honest. I have gotten waaaaaay to used to my little cocoon that I have created here at home. We say our Bible verses at the breakfast table, and turn on K-LOVE while we clean the house and do the laundry. It's nice. :)
And this certain co-worker, for instance, is particularly difficult to work with. She is loud and crass, and has spent a little too much time drinking her troubles away. Oh, and every time I've worked recently, I've been pod partners with her, by assignment. I have to listen to her saga all day long.
But she's been questioning my faith a lot these days too, asking me tons of questions about what I believe and about our church. And so our close proximity seems to be much more than a coincidence, not that I ever really thought it was anyway.
But the whole thing, the having to work 12 hours side by side with someone who has a blatantly obvious disregard for God, isn't comfortable for me. Like I said, I dread it. I know the Lord cares deeply for this girl, and longs for her salvation. And so I'm praying for perseverance and for compassion to see my co-workers as the Lord sees them.
I meditated on these verses tonight:
However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. 1 Timothy 1:16
Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 2 Timothy 4:2
The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9