Wednesday, July 11, 2007

More about work...

Things aren't always exactly clear when it comes to my work situation. Dave and I have gone back and forth many times, weighing the pros and cons of me working outside our home. We have, for now, decided that I will pick up occasional shifts and maintain my nursing license. And I have to admit, I enjoy the change of pace that it brings, the chance to stretch my brain in a different way, to care for others who are very, very sick.

But when the days come that I've signed up to work, more often than not, I dread going in. And not just because I miss my boys when I'm there.

Just as an aside, I don't always feel the way I did last night, you know, joyful in my role the Lord has given me and content to stay at home. I feel like I have to admit that, because it's so true! My attitude is definitely not always content, so don't for a minute think that I have it all figured out. Really, because of my own stubbornness, I often resist the Lord's way, assuming I can juggle a million tasks and do it all. But He is so gracious to continue His work in me, and to remind me of the truth. I am so thankful to know with a certainty that He wants me here at home, to be assured that the work I'm doing matters.

But back to what I was saying, the reason I dread going into work is because of the people that I work with. I guess when I worked full time, before we had kids, I had gotten used to the way the world interacts, the crudeness, the selfishness, the bad language. But it's just oppressive now, to be honest. I have gotten waaaaaay to used to my little cocoon that I have created here at home. We say our Bible verses at the breakfast table, and turn on K-LOVE while we clean the house and do the laundry. It's nice. :)

And this certain co-worker, for instance, is particularly difficult to work with. She is loud and crass, and has spent a little too much time drinking her troubles away. Oh, and every time I've worked recently, I've been pod partners with her, by assignment. I have to listen to her saga all day long.

But she's been questioning my faith a lot these days too, asking me tons of questions about what I believe and about our church. And so our close proximity seems to be much more than a coincidence, not that I ever really thought it was anyway.

But the whole thing, the having to work 12 hours side by side with someone who has a blatantly obvious disregard for God, isn't comfortable for me. Like I said, I dread it. I know the Lord cares deeply for this girl, and longs for her salvation. And so I'm praying for perseverance and for compassion to see my co-workers as the Lord sees them.

I meditated on these verses tonight:

However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. 1 Timothy 1:16

Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 2 Timothy 4:2

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9


Anonymous said...

Rach, I will be praying for that nurse. Oh, that the Lord would give us understanding to see people through His eyes. To see them as lost souls needing a Savior. I pray that for myself, as I often would rather not deal with people who swear and drink, etc. I'm not comfortable with it. But does God want us to always be comfortable. I think He wants us to step out of our comfort zone and try to reach all different kinds of people.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They encourage us and cause us to think. Love, Mom

Eryn said...

isnt it wonderful to know that you are not "stuck"(my word) with that nurse on accident? in our bible study , we just went over the parable of the seed sower. it is an encouragement to me to know that God doesnt always expect us to do everything ourselves (plant, feed, water and harvest) but maybe just one thing. So far, you are definitely planting and the root is struggling to catch in the rocky might never know what happens to her, but the seed has been planted by your words and actions. keep up the good work!