Saturday, January 07, 2012


It's semi-quiet in my house tonight. The game is on in the other room, but compared to the noise of regular life with kids, it's hardly noticeable. ;) Recently Dave and I have been cracking up because there will be 2 or 3 of our kids at a time singing {different songs} in the same is sorta comical, but mind-numbing too. I know there could be worse things, I really do, but still, if you sat through the crazy that is dinner time with us, you'd understand...

Today was a good day though.

Not without it's issues or attitudes to adjust. But still, it was relatively peaceful, and I'm finding myself very thankful tonight. Pretty sure a lot of it just has to do with my attitude. :) The Lord has been challenging me to examine my tendency toward defeat - and wow, it has been hitting me hard.

You know, we'd never allow our kiddos to spend a lot of time wallowing about how they can't obey because its too hard, that would obviously be something we'd want to talk them through. To teach them that obedience is simply a choice, and that they must determine to obey with the Lord's help even when its hard.

But here I am. I have cried to the Lord many times in the past year {and to Dave} that what He has asked of me is just too hard. I've felt beaten down, overwhelmed, not able to keep up...basically, a defeatist attitude. I don't always feel that way, but there have been many moments like that, when the pressures of raising 4 young children get to me and there doesn't seem to be enough of me to go around.

I am so thankful that the Lord loves me enough to still use me, despite my resistance. That He stretches me, asks hard things of me, strips me of anything I was clinging that I won't be able to keep going in my own strength and will have to cast myself on Him for help.

He is so very faithful to me. When I really take the time to open my eyes to the goodness of my God in my life, it's overwhelming, really.

Continuing to list my soul needs this exercise.

113. Good days

114. Dairy free chocolate

115. Books finally read

116. An 8 year old in the house

117. His obviously unique qualities and enthusiasm for life - cannot wait to see him as an adult!

118. An excuse for us all to eat healthier

119. Completed laundry day - this is a good feeling!

120. Time to spend in the Word

121. New phones

122. Listening to my love talk to Siri

123. Hearing the 2 year old quote her older brothers' memory verses - priceless!

124. Dimples

125. Good reports from school

126. Sweet friends for my darlings

127. Watching the boys play legos with their sister

128. Sweet arms that grab my neck to hug me

129. A husband who gets me, but still points me to the truth


Anonymous said...

I love that last one. Both components are so necessary...the need to feel understood and heard but also the need to see the truth. Love your list!

Lynn said...

It drove me nuts as a kid, but now I understand why my parents had the rule that we were not allowed to sing/hum at the table!

It's hard sometimes not to be discouraged when life seems overwhelming and too hard to handle - I also have had one of the toughest years of my life this year... I am learning (over & over) to lift my eyes to the hills, from whence comes my Help! Thankful He will not allow us to slip; and for His forgiveness and patience! Glad He's not done working on us yet!

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