Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Days like yesterday

Isn't it amazing how a little sleep can change your outlook on life?! I had a really rough day yesterday, and after sobbing to a friend for awhile, I just went to bed and prayed and prayed for wisdom to raise these little boys the Lord has entrusted to Dave and me. We so want to be faithful to raise them in a way that pleases the Lord, but at the ages they are, it is so hard to see results and trust that it will be worth it. I guess I should say that sometimes it's hard to trust that it will be worth it. Days like yesterday, when my 3 year old could not obey for the life of him! And after a multitude of trips to the bathroom for correction, I was exhausted and spent. What in the world is going on????!!!

I found this verse last night as I was pouring out my troubles to the Lord in a, "Why did you choose me to be their mom, Lord? I am not a strong enough person to raise such strong-willed little children," sort of way.

"Arise, cry out in the night, at the beginning of the watches; pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children..." Lamentations 2:19


And I completely changed my attitude right there. Instead of continuing to protest against the Lord's will for me, I realized that, OF COURSE, I am not a strong enough person to raise strong-willed children. And if I were, then I'd have no need for the Lord's help. If He had made me patient enough, and my children naturally sweet-tempered enough, then I'd never run to Him and beg for help! He wants for me to seek after His wisdom and rely on Him for strength minute by minute.

I so do not have it all together. :)

And after yesterday, I realize that that's good! Because the Lord gets the glory that way, in using a less-than-perfect mom to raise 2 mischievious little boys. It is obviously all because of Him!

It's so humbling though, you know? Because even when we feel like we're doing everything right, all our efforts may fail. Ultimately, the outcome isn't up to me, is it? The Lord has to win their hearts. He's just using me to soften their hearts toward the things of God.

Well, tonight when I put Ethan to bed, he put his hands on my cheeks and pulled my face towards his and gave me the sweetest kiss. "I just love you so much, Mom!" he said, making me think that I must have been dreaming up the events of yesterday. :)

And then he prayed for Christian and Abby, that they would not poop in their underwear (his own current problem!) in the brown house. I just about died laughing! That kid is so stinkin' funny!

8 comments:

Reagan said...

You always have such good insight and ways to think about life - thank you!

Jenica said...

Funny that you mention this. Last night A and I were just staring into space saying "what are we doing wrong?".

I am so humbled by my role as a mother!

I had this idea of what a good witness we can be at the YMCA (we go a few xs a week) as we get to know people there. I was hoping they would see a difference in how my children behave... well I have been humbled many times and actually horrified at some incidents my kids have pulled off.

I'm realizing my kid's WILL NOT be perfect just as I am not. So our only hope is the Lord shining through our weaknesses.

This has been a great encouragement to start my day! =)

The Daniel Den said...

That is hilarious and very sweet at the same time!!!! Thank you Eathan for your prayers!!!

Rachel- Micah and I have talked so much recently about how we can do nothing away from the Lord. We all have things that make us run to Him and say how is this going to work? The Lord patiently tells us it is going to be ok because His plan is perfect not only for molding us but for molding our children.
From health problems, raising kids, being a wife, working the Lord loves us enough to use the perfect thing to show us our need and refine us.
Thanks for being so honest and open. The Lord is teaching me the same lessons just through different circumstances.
Love ya Rachel!!!

HopiQ said...

Thank you for these thoughts...the Lord has to remind me often that HE's the one who must do the work in my children's hearts. I have to remember that my convenience and comfort is not the issue...my children need my love and patience and training. It's not just another "chore" on my list that I can cross off! How many times do I sigh when I have to get up YET again to take care of something for the kids or resolve a problem. Rather, it's my high calling, ministry, vocation.

I've said the same thing to David a time or two..."What are we doing wrong?!?"

I just started Lisa Welchel's book, Creative Correction. VERY good so far!!! Lots of Scripture and stories targeting specific problems.

HopiQ said...

And for a laugh for those fighting the "poopy wars," visit http://antiquemommy.typepad.com/antique_mommy/2007/01/the_poo_poo_dri.html

Eryn said...

i had a day like that last year with ella and patrick. i think i almost had a nervous breakdown. funny enough, it was a turning point for ella. dont give up, you kids KNOW whats right and what they should be doing. we often wonder this about ella (sometimes i am convinced she has short term memory loss, how can you not remember that last correction?), but after a while of the same behavior, we usually win. it is a silent battle of wills, we just have to be sure we win with GOds instruction getting through.

bandanachick said...

Oh...I am sorry you had such a bad day! I am glad that the Lord has encouraged you though. It seems like if we never had bad days we wouldn't be so encouraged by the good ones that we have. You ARE a great mom though, and I know Ethan loves you so much!

Anonymous said...

Rachel,

I really needed to hear those words today. Last night Cooper pulled a tv over on top of himself and his brother. Thank the Lord they are okay, but my heart was so heavy all night as I "feared" that no matter how much I watch them, pray for them, have the very best intentions...their life is in His hands...(just got done listening to that song:) ) I was so angry at Cooper's curiousity and dangerous decision involving the t.v....yet his heart was so tender and broken as he was disciplined that I kept thinking about how much I wanted to protect him from this life. It was a picture to me of how much more Jesus must love me when I screw up and hurt myself or others I care for, and how he must hate to see me suffer the consequences of my behavior, yet He he is molding me and shaping me no matter how painful.

Have a blessed day,
Danielle Hill