But I so love the Lord, and as I'm getting to know Him more and more, I'm overwhelmed with the thought of how much He cares for all these lost people. He deeply desires a relationship with them, to restore them to fellowship with Himself, to bring HIM glory. And so little by little recently, it seems like my fear is being replaced with an attitude of, "Yes, Lord, I'll do it! Whatever you say, Lord."
Not that I'm perfect in any way. Or always have the perfect words. But I was struck tonight by the fact that my hesitance to delve into spiritual conversation with people has less to do with fear of what they will say...but ultimately stems from my selfish desire to be comfortable, to do what I want to do. After all, the Lord wants me to be well respected at work, right? I so easily allow myself to buy into this lie.
I ran across this quote by Elizabeth Elliot on a blog I read, and was so humbled.
Sometimes I am asked to speak to young people who are toying with the idea of being missionaries. They want to know how I discovered the will of God. The first thing was to settle once and for all the supremacy of Christ in my life, I tell them. I put myself utterly and forever at His disposal, which means turning over all the rights: to myself, my body, my self-image, my notions of how I am to serve my Master. Oswald Chambers calls it “breaking the husk of my individual independence of God.” Until that break comes, all the rest is “pious fraud.” I tell these earnest kids that the will of God is always different from what they expect, always bigger, and, ultimately, infinitely more glorious than their wildest imaginings.Lord, do whatever it takes to break my independence of You. I want to be at Your disposal. It's YOUR glory I'm after, not my own.
4 comments:
Amen! I need this reminder of "Not my will, but Yours, Lord" every moment!
Wow - my own selfishness seems to be in my face constantly, too. I guess He's after what's under the husk - sometimes I think there can't be much left after all that chopping away! "Whatever it takes" can be painful and beautiful all at the same time, because we begin to want what He wants - for all the glory to go to Him.
Thanks for introducing yourself! So nice to meet your sweet family.
Yes, it's a little out of my comfort zone. I guess there's always a little pain in victories in the Christian life.
It's really becoming like Jesus and Jesus to others. Taking up our cross. Jesus's pain brought such a victory and hope. To emulate that is our ambition.
I don't know if this makes sense...
Thanks for your transparency and spurring on.
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