I'm Back

I started running again a few weeks ago. Granted I'm not running that far yet, or for very long, but I have really missed it. The chance to pound out miles...all the while pounding out my problems too. I do most of my thinking and praying while I'm running, maybe just because it is the one time during the day when I'm not in survival mode or needed at once by every kid in the room, I don't know. But as soon as I get on that treadmill and the endorphins start flowing, I find myself overwhelmed with thankfulness for this blessed little life I lead.

Even though the past year has literally been the hardest thing I have ever done.

There has been shock over a new pregnancy, months of severe morning sickness, extreme mommy guilt over missing out on so much because of it...and then now that he's here, it has been even harder, to be honest. So much to juggle. So many little needs - emotional, behavioral, spiritual needs. I have 4 children now, and they are all so important to me! It breaks my heart to turn a child away to wait while I try to soothe a screaming baby.

{But Jonas doesn't scream much anymore, thankfully. When he was about 8 weeks old I figured out that he was sensitive to dairy, so I've been eating diary free for the last month. Good news is, he is happy and content most of the time now...and I have lost 5 lbs in the process. :) Turns out a lot of what I like to eat falls into the dairy category. }

The last couple of weeks have been so much better - still hard at times, but there have been glimpses of the sweet gift of having a family of 6 too. And that God is good all the time.

It's been awhile since I listed His gifts, so tonight I'm thankful for -

97. Laughter around the table

98. Our nightly talks with the boys

99. The special bond we see forming between certain look-alike siblings

100. Help from family

101. Dairy-free chocolate

102. Daily reports home from a precious teacher who loves our son

103. The conviction that came after much prayer and discipline

104. A 5 year old's excitement over salvation!

105. That both my boys professed to come to know Him this month

106. Grief over sin

107. A husband who doesn't lose heart

108. Restored fellowship with sons, and the closeness that it brings

109. Basketball season

110. Obvious fruit in little people's lives

111. Sharing morning devotions with my oldest

112. Renewed passion for motherhood