Only if need be

In my Bible reading plan this morning, 1 Peter 1 & 2 were on the list. George Farber mentioned vs. 6 and 7 in his last message on Sunday, and I have been thinking about one little phrase ever since.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ..."

I am so glad the Holy Spirit prompted Peter to include that phrase. It reminds me that there is a purpose behind each difficult moment that we find ourselves in, and really, having that perspective on things allows us to relax a bit and let the Lord do His work in us, as hard as it may seem at the time.

You know, most everyone I know is going through some difficulty right now. Every story is different, but the pain and heartache are strikingly similar.

In this world you will have trouble...


It is not for nothing. It is only if need be. The Savior does not take these things lightly. These hard times must be absolutely necessary to our growth, so that our lives bring praise to Him in a way they wouldn't otherwise.

Cling to that truth, no matter what situation you find yourself in today.

Today the boys have been vegging out with Ezra, who is finally old enough to sit with them and enjoy their company! So fun!

End of the season thoughts

Last night we went to the Upwards basketball awards ceremony, along with 500 or so other proud parents and grandparents. It was way too long to be crammed into a gym, but still so fun to watch Dave's kindergarten team on the screen during the season video.

Over the last few months, Dave has said repeatedly that he will never coach basketball again (read: kindergartners are not too skilled yet in the coordination necessary to play this sport and it kills him!), but I am hoping he doesn't really mean it. He did such a good job. And just about every parent on his team commented to me on his patience and work with their boys. By the end of this season, every single one of them had improved. And that is saying something!

It is so good to be done with it though, at least for awhile. Ethan is already talking about what sport he wants to play next. As we devoured icecream last night after the event, his eye caught a karate studio out the window and across the parking lot. Now he can't stop talking about taking karate lessons.

Dave told him that we'll think about it....at least it wouldn't require Dave to coach! LOL

Lots of hard things in life seem endless when we're in the midst of them, but looking back we see the benefit of the journey. It's a perspective issue, I guess. When Dave started the season with these young, clumsy boys, he almost instantly regretted signing up for the job of coaching. Of course, he is committed to being involved with our kids and their lives and spending as much time with them as possible, so coaching their teams is his plan.

But what had sounded so fun and noble in the beginning, quickly became a huge, undesirable task. Why do this? It's too hard. What is the point anyway?

I find myself there far too often - we probably all do. Eager to begin to obey the Lord, but loosing strength to follow through.

His daily appointments, while they may seem so hard at the time, do have a planned end. He, of course, knows what He is doing, and when the "season" is over, His purposes will be better seen. When its all said and done, and our perspective isn't so clouded by the endlessness of the task He asks of us, we can focus our eyes of faith and catch a glimpse of what He was doing all along.

And there is help to be had along the way. I'm so glad of this...

Elizabeth Elliott writes, "Sometimes a task we have begun takes on a seemingly crushing size, and we wonder what ever gave us the notion that we could accomplish it. There is no way out, no way around it, and yet we cannot contemplate actually carrying it through. The rearing of children or the writing of a book are illustrations that come to mind. Let us recall that the task is a divinely appointed one, and divine aid is therefore to be expected. Expect it! Ask for it, wait for it, believe that God gives it. Offer to Him the job itself, along with your fears and misgivings about it. He will not fail or be discouraged. Let His courage encourage you. The day will come when the task will be finished. Trust Him for it."

My husband, of course, finished his task. And I think he would say now that he is glad he did. I think. :) The rest of us looking on were so thankful for his perseverance anyway.

As a wife, mom, and woman of God, there are so many hard tasks that have a seemingly crushing size in my life. Sometimes I cannot actually fathom getting through them, much less getting through the day.

I am too quick to forget that His appointment brings His help.

When I remember to ask for it, to run to Him first when the task at hand seems insurmountable, then I can say with the prophet Isaiah,

"The Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded, therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed."

"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself,
and our God and Father,
who has loved us
and given us everlasting consolation
and good hope by grace,
comfort your hearts
and establish you
in every good word and work."
2 Thessalonians 2:16,17

I read these verses this morning, as I sipped my heavily-doctored coffee (brought to me in bed by my sweet husband), little knowing what this day would hold for me. I guess we never do know, but isn't it good that the Word of God is living and powerful? It meets me every morning, right where I am at, and equips me for the day ahead. No matter what the day holds, joy or sorrow, the words on those pages speak peace to my heart, and remind me of the truth.

I am not alone. The Lord loves me and will always provide just what I need to keep going.

I love that phrase at the end of verse 17, the call to remembrance that it is the Lord who loves me who will set my feet firmly in a place where I can do what is right, and use my mouth in a way that honors Him too. Even when I feel like complaining, He can help me continue on cheerfully. I can depend on Him....why? Because He loves me!

The love of God changes everything, doesn't it?

We spent the weekend together as a family - lots of good times. I am so glad for it. The Marshalls seem to be on the mend, but we gave them a little more time to recuperate and tried to stay out of the house as much as possible.

Saturday we got together with Doug and Sonja and the kids, which is always a blast. The boys play hard (and fight hard too!) - these 2 are always at odds, it seems, but from the looks of these pics, I think they were on the same team this time.

Ethan adores his "baby" cousin - she won't be the baby for long!




I woke up this morning, excited to start off a new week - to start fresh (and healthy). But it was not to be. We showed up at a friend's house for lunch and a playdate, and immediately had to turn around and leave. Ethan tried his hardest to convince me he could still play, even if his tummy hurt (that kid never slows down!), but I am so glad we left when we did. Let's just say, he definitely has the stomach flu. :(

He's sleeping now, and in the quiet I'm remembering God's words to me this very morning before I knew that we'd be laying low again this week. (He knew, of course) I'm so thankful for His love and for the assurance that He chooses our days....and longs to comfort us in the midst of them.

Common tasks and servanthood

The trivial round, the common task,
Will furnish all we ought to ask;
Room to deny ourselves, a road
To bring us daily nearer God.

-- John Keble

The Lord has been teaching me so much recently - and I am so thankful for His pruning work in my life, I really am. I am so glad that I'm not the same girl I was back when I graduated college or married Dave; that girl has had a lot of growing up to do! The Lord has graciously brought me along, orchestrating just the right circumstances and weaving them into my life in a way that allows me become a little more like Him.

I have so far to go though. I know this when old battles creep up, unexpected, and I fail again. I know this when I hear a message preached on loving like the Savior does, and I can't help but think of how short I fall in this area. How often I just love myself more than others, if I am being truly honest. I was reminded of this again one morning this week, while sitting in my favorite chair on a dreary morning, as I read His words,

"just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."


How little I am like Him! He came to give His life, and here I am ... always trying to snatch mine back. Oh, this convicts me so much!

The disciples were concerned with who was going to be the greatest - the Savior's response is so different. He shows true greatness by serving, by willingly pouring Himself out for others. I long for this to be my natural response too.

My mom once told me, "You will know you have a servant's heart when people start treating you like one." Something I've never forgotten... can people depend on me to be a willing servant?

I came across the little poem at the top of the page this morning - and what a good reminder. I need these daily tasks at home, this *cross* that He has chosen for me to bear, different though it may be each day, as a way to bring me nearer to God. They give me room to deny myself, which is what I need. Less of me, more of Him. So that I can learn His ways, His responses, His heart....

Help me embrace each moment, Lord, as an opportunity to learn from You. Make me more like Yourself!

The Lord is Peace

"I have loved you," says the LORD. "Yet you say, 'In what way have you loved us?'..." Malachi 1:2

"The fool has said in his heart, 'There is no God'...the LORD looks down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there are any who understand, who seek God." Psalm 14:1,2

Meditating on these verses today - my heart is like the Israelites' sometimes, questioning the love of the Lord in my life. Oh, I wouldn't say it out loud, or even consciously think it...but my attitude betrays me sometimes. Just ask Dave. :) Frustration builds, and I find myself fuming over circumstances... and my husband asks, "who are you mad at anyway? God????"

Always makes me think.

Because that is what I'm really saying, when I let my mind wander down any path it chooses, dwelling on circumstances instead of trusting in the Controller of them. I'm saying in my haughty Israelite tone, "In what way have you loved me, God? Have you looked around recently????" Even though I'd never intend to go there... it is convicting, this Bible I read.

Tonight in Bible study we talked about the name of God Jehovah-Shalom, which means the Lord is Peace. God revealed Himself to Gideon as Jehovah-Shalom in the book of Judges, when the circumstances were dark...the nation of Israel was being oppressed by the Midianites because they had fallen into sin. The situation was desperate. But the Lord showed Himself to Gideon, and told him not to fear. He could have peace because the Lord was with him and already knew the outcome.

This excerpt from our book Lord, I Want to Know You by Kay Arthur really made me think:

"He gives us a peace that does not alter, regardless of circumstances, because the peace He gives us is resident in the One who promised, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,' so that we confidently say, 'THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT SHALL MAN DO TO ME?'" Hebrews 13:5-6

He is with me - as Philippians 4:4 says, the Lord is near. And He gives a peace that does not alter.

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3

I was challenged tonight to run to Jehovah-Shalom with everything - every thought that threatens to steal the peace that He longs for me to have. Lord, let me not be like the fool, who ignores Your existence. Help me run to You first - and pour it all out to You.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your forbearing spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7

Mundane moments

Things have been looking up. My doctor prescribed an antihistamine and B6 combo for me that has really helped curb the evening sickies - so thankful for that. I honestly feel like relief is just around the corner anyway (I'm 11ish weeks), but I sure didn't feel that way this weekend. So I am giving pharmaceuticals a try. My hubby is glad - very glad. :)

With all this time in bed (or on the couch) I've made lots of headway on the stack of books in my bedside table. At least enough that I feel sufficiently guilty for everything I'm not doing right now. I feel like I'm mostly just surviving the days - not making best use of every teachable moment with these kiddos. Can't wait for this first trimester to be over! :)

One book in particular has been so encouraging though. The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. It is about following Christ's example in reaching the hearts of our children. There is so much to process in that book - I know I'll have to reread it - and much of it applies to older children than I currently have. But a particular chapter really spoke to my heart yesterday. Sally was telling a story about one of her older children who was having trouble with impatience and outbursts at younger siblings on a certain day. In private she gently counseled the child,

"I have been so encouraged by your growth in the Lord. It is so exciting to see your passion for Him and the way you long for Him to use you. I know He will do something special in and through you in His own time. But it is so easy to get excited about the big things and then allow yourself to blow it in all the mundane moments of life. If you give yourself license to get angry and frustrated every time you feel you can justify it, then you risk sacrificing your testimony as you grow older..."

That is so good, isn't it???

The child humbly agreed that it was wrong to be so impatient, and admitted how much he desired to control himself. But he couldn't figure out how. And so she took him to Galatians 5:16, the secret really, to the Christian life.

"Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh."

That's the secret then - to learn to yield my life and my emotions and my actions moment by moment to Him. Because it really is my human tendancy to let things irritate me, to grow impatient, whether its with my children, or just the frustrations of life in general (accompanied by constant nausea! not an excuse - I'm just saying!).

I have good intentions with this whole mothering thing. I want to do an excellent job with what God has for me here on earth, but I have a wee little tendancy towards blowing it on the mundane moments. Lord, I need Your Spirit to give me strength to reflect Your supernatural responses to life's crazy demands! What a good reminder that was today.

VBS 2008

Vacation Bible School is one of my favorite weeks of the year. Even though I know we'll be totally exhausted by Friday, I love every minute of it.

Ours started tonight and will go until Friday, when we have an all-family BBQ in the parking lot. We are praying that parents will come!

Ken Miller is here again, teaching on creation and the first few chapters of Genesis. We had around 40 kids tonight, and he definitely held their interest.





Ethan has been inviting everyone he knows to VBS. Thankfully he's had a few takers. :) A neighbor friend came with him tonight, and another friend too. On the way home tonight, Ethan and his friend were discussing how they can get more candy bars and who they could possibly invite. The incentive is working, but sadly half our neighborhood happens to be on vacation this week. I am not kidding.

In the Wilderness

In Sunday School today we were going through Exodus 15, the song of Moses, after the Israelites have passed through the Red Sea and their enemies have been swallowed up by the waters right behind them. They see the salvation of their God, and all they can think about is who it was who delivered them.

Not so much the gift, but the Giver. And their hearts were filled to overflowing with worship.

Looking back on what God had done, the outpouring of their hearts was to marvel about Him and trust Him for the future. Not just because of what He had done, but because of who He is.

They praised Him for being their salvation, their strength, their joy. Their peace, their guide, their inheritance. Because even though He gives those things, really He is giving of Himself... because He is peace, and He is joy, isn't He?

You can see that their focus is on the Giver, not on themselves, or even the blessings they have gained. The eyes of faith don't depend on external circumstances to draw the heart to worship anyway. They know with confidence that,

"His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness..." 2 Peter 1:3

no matter what the circumstances look like.

Granted, the Israelites had just seen the salvation of their God; all the aspects of life hadn't had time to get in the way. As they headed into the wilderness they would wander for the next 40 years, they were quick to switch their tune.

I am like that too. Quick to forget how wonderful He is.

But this wilderness stretching in front of me makes me want to look back to the Giver. If I know enough about who He really is, I can trust Him for all that is ahead.

Because after all, He gives of Himself.

flowers above are from Grandma E

Home again

We had a wonderful time at camp. Our boys were the only little kids there, since it was a high school/college age crowd, so they got tons of attention from everyone. It was very sweet - Ethan sat with someone other than us every meal and every chapel time. And he didn't know a soul there when we arrived. What a little socialite!

The speaker for the weekend was Robert Fitzgerald from St. Louis. Dave and I enjoyed meeting him and his wife Barbara- they have 4 sons, and just in our casual conversation, they shared so much good parenting advice. It was helpful for us to hear what they thought they would change if they could do it all over again, and what they thought was important for raising godly young men. We were really blessed by meeting them and spending time with them.

Because I don't know about the rest of you, but I LONG for the advice of those who have walked this path.


The Lord has given us this huge task of raising the next generation. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the enormity of it! There are plenty of days I am just sure that motherhood was designed to make me feel like a complete failure. :) How do I look past the nitty gritty of today's work at home and trust the Lord to do His work in my children's lives? It was inspiring to see the godly young people at this conference, to listen to seasoned parents, and to visualize what we are aiming towards.

Robert spoke on the "man of God" from 1st and 2nd Timothy, and went through the books in an exhortational way, encouraging us all to live for the Lord with everything we are. "...that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Timothy 3:17) which of course refers to being in the Word - there is no way around it, is there? We need to be reading, studying, meditating, memorizing the Word of God. We have no power against sin without it, and we are useless in the church if we're neglecting it.

We got home late Sunday night, and so far this week has been less than desirable. I was tired and cranky for the last couple of days (I assumed from the long weekend), and the kids were up to their ears in mischief. And as of this afternoon, I have a fever and the pukies. Instead of doing what I was planning on, I ended up laying in bed all afternoon. I was supposed to lead the women's Bible study tonight, go to a VBS meeting, go to MOPS tomorrow, and have the evangelistic study over here tomorrow night. Now what, Lord? He has been changing the plans on me a lot recently. I know I can trust Him, but I still wonder sometimes.

How to Ascertain the Will of God

Mom sent this excerpt to me today, from George Muller's book Answers to Prayer.

How To Ascertain The Will of God

1 - I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter. Nine-tenths of the trouble with people generally is just here. Nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the Lord's will, whatever it maybe. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is.

2 - Having done this, I do not leave the result to feeling or simple impression. If so, I make myself liable to great delusions.

3 - I seek the Will of the Spirit of God through, or in connection with, the Word of God. The Spirit and the Word must be combined. If I look to the Spirit alone without the Word, I lay myself open to great delusions also. If the Holy Ghost guides us at all, He will do it according to the Scriptures and never contrary to them.

4 - Next I take into account providential circumstances. These often plainly indicate God's Will in connection with His Word and Spirit.

5 - I ask God in prayer to reveal His Will to me aright.

6 - Thus, through prayer to God, the study of the Word, and reflection, I come to a deliberate judgment according to the best of my ability and knowledge, and if my mind is thus at peace, and continues so after two or three more petitions, I proceed accordingly. In trivial matters, and in transactions involving most important issues, I have found this method always effective. GEORGE MULLER

We are on the mend, thankfully. We were even able to have Bible study here last night. The cough is still around, but each day we feel just a little more strength. And there is just the slightest hope of spring - I'm clinging to it. Can't wait to open these windows and air this place out!

That you may obtain it

Dave and I were talking the other night about things we see in our lives that the Lord has for us to work on this year. In a way, it is intimidating to me to have conversations like these, because I don't want to start the year with lofty goals and then have to look back and be disappointed. Know what I mean? I think this is why the whole idea of making New Year's Resolutions has never really appealed to me. But then again, this is the way the Lord works, graciously revealing, little by little, areas of my life that He desires to be Lord over. And I don't want to resist His work. I want to change for His glory. But it's a little bit of a painful process, don't you think? :) Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Philippians 3:12

I was reminded today of some verses that Scott has been quoting frequently in his messages,

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it.

And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown.

Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air.

But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection...
1 Corinthians 9:24,25

So this year, I am aiming towards more personal discipline, in my walk with the Lord and as that spills over into the tasks that He has for me. I guess I should say ESPECIALLY as it spills over, because this is where I tend to slack the most, I think. Forgetting that the Lord can be glorified in my work at home, if I choose to serve Him there, instead of myself.

And several friends have challenged me to consider the use of my TIME, what I am doing with it. There are so many things I could be doing, but what does the Lord have for me?

Well, I know what He has for me today...my children are sick with an intestinal bug (again), for 3 days now, and I can love and care for them. Read to them. Cuddle them. And I hear one of them calling me right now....uh, oh, gotta go!

Saturday thoughts

We're getting tons of snow today, so instead of joining the masses at the mall (isn't the Saturday before Christmas supposed to be the biggest shopping day of the year?), we're staying in and doing nothing. In our jammies. All day long.

It has been wonderful. We don't have these kind of Saturdays very often.

I sent out our family Christmas picture yesterday. I could not get my act together to get a family portrait done this month, so I used a pic from this fall that my dad took when we were back home for the weekend. I guess we probably haven't changed that much since then. :)


I read through this year's blog posts tonight, since I had some free time and felt a little nostalgic anyway, it being Christmas time and all. And you know, this has been a really great year for our little family! It was neat to look back and see where the Lord has been working in my heart, changing me, helping me adapt to His will for me.

I have this verse on my fridge right now,

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

And I have found this to be so true this year. I can try to be as organized as possible, read all the books, make my daily schedules, cover all my bases, but the Lord is the One who is directing this family. He provides for us. He determines what our days will hold. And He gives us grace to do what we never imagined we could do. He pushes us gently (or sometimes not so gently) into His will, and I am so glad He does! Where would I be without His direction? If my life were all about the way I planned for things to go, I would never experience the exhilaration of knowing that Someone else is working things out for good. And never know the peace that comes with that knowledge.

As I was reading through old entries, I came across this quote that I have always loved,

"I praise You for Your sovereignty over the broad events of my life and over the details. With You, nothing is accidental, nothing is incidental, and no experience is wasted. You hold in Your own power my breath of life and all my destiny. And every trial that You allow to happen is a platform on which You reveal Yourself, showing Your love and power, both to me and to others looking on. Thank You that I can move into the future non-defensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me, even to my old age...and through all eternity." -Ruth Myers

Makes me think of this phrase from Daniel 5:23, "...the God who holds your breath in His hand and owns all your ways..."

We hope that your weekend is relaxing and family-filled too. And that you're looking back over 2007 with encouraging thoughts as well. The Lord owns all my ways, and He owns yours too.

The question is, are we resisting His ownership?

Useful for the Master

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth...

...Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.

But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.

Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

2 Timothy 2:15, 19-22

These verses were in my morning Bible reading, and I was really struck by the idea of being useful for the Master. Am I useful to Him today? Have I confessed sin and run away from it? What am I pursuing today?

I have a whole list of things to do today, just preparations for the holiday week ahead. And I am really looking forward to it all, getting away, seeing family and dear friends again, talking, eating and catching up. So I do need to get busy this morning, and make some headway on my list. But I was reminded this morning to consider what the Lord has for me to do this week and to make sure I am ready and available to Him. What an honor to be a vessel that He chooses to work through!

Lord, help me to see what it is that you have for me to do today.

Do you have too much education?

A friend of mine asked me recently, "Do you ever feel like you have too much education to be a stay at home mom?"

She wasn't asking because she felt this way, but she's been hearing that idea from her university professors a lot recently. Since she's made it pretty clear that when she has children, she wants to stay at home with them, a lot of people have been asking her why she ever bothers to go to school.

I have to admit, having higher education and the possibility of getting a great job make the choice to stay home just a little tougher. There is definitely more of a pull towards the workplace when you are qualified to be there. But like I told my friend, I am totally willing to lay down my career to raise my children. After all, why should the workplace be more deserving of educated people than our own children? Being a mommy is not a job for a mindless dummy!

Until recently I have always picked up occasional shifts at the hospital, and we still are of the mindset that part time work isn't necessarily a bad thing. But we have always wanted for me to be consistently there for our children, for their normal day to day routine to be centered around home and our family. They are only young once, and the time is flying by so quickly. And there are so many things yet to teach them!

In this excerpt entitled, "But I Have a Graduate Degree," Elizabeth Elliott writes,

"A woman was asked to speak to the women students of a seminary about job opportunities for those with seminary degrees. She writes, "I talked to them first principally about being, doing, and going as God wills (not who am I, but whose am I). Then I listed both traditional and creative ways to fulfill needs in the Kingdom of God. Three feminists were offended especially that I should mention a nanny among the 70+ jobs. But Aristotle was a 'nanny' to Alexander the Great! These women had bought into the values of the world and were ready to fight for their ten years of executive computer programming. They said my talk had 'put them down more than any man's.'"

Theology means the study of God, but if an earned degree in that field confers a position in life which makes servanthood "beneath us" (three women felt "put down"), something is badly amiss. "The servant is not greater than his master," Jesus said. "Once you have realized these things, you will find your happiness in doing them" (John 13:16,17, PHILLIPS).

Happiness--never mind the "status" of the job. The disciples had been occupied with petty rivalries and questions about greatness. Jesus, "with the full knowledge that the Father had put everything into His hands" (John 13:3, PHILLIPS), took into those hands the dusty, calloused feet of each of the twelve, washed them, and dried them with a towel. It was His happiness to do the will of His Father, but it was a shock to those rugged men. The washing of feet hadn't occurred to them as coming under that heading, I suppose, even though they had heard the principle before. I can imagine the bewilderment on their faces. Can't you just hear Peter's tone as he says, "You, Lord, washing my feet?" (v. 6, NEB)."

Yes, at times the life of a stay at home mommy closely resembles "servanthood," doesn't it? :) I find myself getting frustrated over the constant need to sweep under the kitchen table, the clothes scattered all over the floor, the toothpaste blobs in the sink. You've been there. You know. Sometimes I feel like a maid. I admit it - I do. But I also recognize that the Lord Jesus was much more of a servant than I'll ever be. He willingly stooped so low to become like me, not just to wash my feet, but to offer Himself as a sacrifice for me. For me, a thankless creature, one who all too often takes His sacrifice for granted. And now He asks me to serve.

It is easy to be fooled by the call of monetary rewards, the promises of fulfillment to be had in finding a career outside of your home. Staying at home, raising little ones, well, there's not always immediate success to be seen, is there? But children are not taught the ways of the Lord just by osmosis; it takes some careful, deliberate, and prayerful planning and work. And if my education helps me be a better mom, gives me better skills to face the job, then praise the Lord!

Bible Study #1

For those of you who have been praying for the evangelistic Bible study that Dave and Jeff are beginning in our home, here's a little update. Last night was our first get together, and we had a group of 5 others, besides Dave and Jeff. There seemed to be good interest and discussion. Pray, pray, pray for the others who were invited. Pray that the Lord will draw them to Himself. Pray that those who came last night will come again. Pray that Dave will have wisdom from the Lord as he leads and that it will be understandable to all those who come. We so appreciate your prayers! This is the Lord's work, and He longs for all of us to know Him as Savior. So we trust in Him.

A friend recently shared these verses with me, and I found them encouraging:

"But I will hope continually
And will praise You yet more and more.

My mouth will tell of Your righteousness
And Your salvation all the day,
For I do not know their limits.

I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD;
I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only."
Psalm 71:14-16

Am I hospitable?

Today at my local MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) meeting, an older mother spoke to our group about the difference between hospitality and entertaining. She reminded us right off the bat that entertaining others has its root in PRIDE. I want them to think I'm a good cook, or that my house is always clean or decorated beautifully, or that I have it all together. When what the Lord really wants for us is to serve others in love. Is the focus on others or on myself?

I really appreciated the timeliness of her message. Tonight Dave is teaching his first (Lord willing) evangelistic Bible study in our home, and so we will be opening our home to people who are virtually strangers to us. I was tempted last night to clean like crazy, but the Lord graciously reminded me that these people are coming to hear HIS WORD, not check under my beds. :) So what if the carpet has a few stains...hopefully it will help them feel more at home here.

"Be hospitable to one another without grumbling." 1 Peter 4:9

Lord, help us to cheerfully open our doors and offer all that we have, because it is Yours anyway.

"distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality." Romans 12:13

Lord, make it the habit of our lives, our natural bent, to serve others and welcome them into our lives. Help those who enter into our home tonight to feel comfortable here, wanted here, accepted here. Take away distractions and use this place to open their eyes to the truth of the Gospel.

Pray for Dave and Jeff tonight, and pray that those who have been invited will come!

God's work in us

What if God, in His sovereignty, designed marriage and motherhood not just for our happiness, but to make us more holy?

I feel certain I've heard this somewhere before, but as my friend and I were chatting last night, she mentioned this thought to me. And it really made me pause and think. Doesn't it make sense that the Lord would use any circumstance we find ourselves in to mold us into the image of His Son? Isn't that His work? Whether single, married, widowed, bursting at the seams with children, longing for a child, immersed in a career, keeping our homes, or on the mission field... is He not always in the business of making us more holy?



I spent a good portion of the boys' quiet time (Simon takes a nap, Ethan does not) looking up verses about this, and I just love the idea that the Lord is working in me, today, through these seemingly unrelated circumstances of motherhood I find myself in, so that I might be set apart for Him more, that I will desire to do His will more....ultimately, for my profit!

"...that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish." Ephesians 5:27

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

"Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness." Hebrews 12:9,10

"who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works." Titus 2:14

As my friend and I discussed, it all boils down to trusting Him to do His work, trusting Him enough to let go of what we think is best for our lives, trusting that He doesn't want to harm us, that His plans are for our profit. No matter what circumstance you find yourself in today. That's the truth of God's Word, and we can cling to it!

"Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that Great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:20.21

Isn't this interesting?

This was in my inbox this morning...

Gentle as a Nurse

A good nurse does not pamper her charge, but seeks his best interest with fortitude, consistency, and love. Paul's love for the new Christians at Thessalonica was like that. It was no sentimental feeling. He writes of having brought them the Word:

• In the power of the Holy Spirit, and with strong conviction. (1 Thes 1:5)
• Frankly and fearlessly, by the help of our God. A hard struggle it was. (1 Thes 2:2)
• We do not curry favor with men. Our words have never been flattering words...or a cloak for greed. (1 Thes 2:4,5)
• We have never sought honor from men, from you or anyone else....We were as gentle with you as a nurse caring fondly for her children. (1 Thes 2:6,7)

Here is the pattern for all who would do God's work with souls: faithful giving of the Word, a heart true and pure in seeking God's glory, gentleness, self-giving, and plain hard work.

This is, of course, by Elizabeth Elliott. :) How timely and appropriate.

More about work...

Things aren't always exactly clear when it comes to my work situation. Dave and I have gone back and forth many times, weighing the pros and cons of me working outside our home. We have, for now, decided that I will pick up occasional shifts and maintain my nursing license. And I have to admit, I enjoy the change of pace that it brings, the chance to stretch my brain in a different way, to care for others who are very, very sick.

But when the days come that I've signed up to work, more often than not, I dread going in. And not just because I miss my boys when I'm there.

Just as an aside, I don't always feel the way I did last night, you know, joyful in my role the Lord has given me and content to stay at home. I feel like I have to admit that, because it's so true! My attitude is definitely not always content, so don't for a minute think that I have it all figured out. Really, because of my own stubbornness, I often resist the Lord's way, assuming I can juggle a million tasks and do it all. But He is so gracious to continue His work in me, and to remind me of the truth. I am so thankful to know with a certainty that He wants me here at home, to be assured that the work I'm doing matters.

But back to what I was saying, the reason I dread going into work is because of the people that I work with. I guess when I worked full time, before we had kids, I had gotten used to the way the world interacts, the crudeness, the selfishness, the bad language. But it's just oppressive now, to be honest. I have gotten waaaaaay to used to my little cocoon that I have created here at home. We say our Bible verses at the breakfast table, and turn on K-LOVE while we clean the house and do the laundry. It's nice. :)

And this certain co-worker, for instance, is particularly difficult to work with. She is loud and crass, and has spent a little too much time drinking her troubles away. Oh, and every time I've worked recently, I've been pod partners with her, by assignment. I have to listen to her saga all day long.

But she's been questioning my faith a lot these days too, asking me tons of questions about what I believe and about our church. And so our close proximity seems to be much more than a coincidence, not that I ever really thought it was anyway.

But the whole thing, the having to work 12 hours side by side with someone who has a blatantly obvious disregard for God, isn't comfortable for me. Like I said, I dread it. I know the Lord cares deeply for this girl, and longs for her salvation. And so I'm praying for perseverance and for compassion to see my co-workers as the Lord sees them.

I meditated on these verses tonight:

However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. 1 Timothy 1:16

Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 2 Timothy 4:2

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

Nurse Rachel to the ICU...STAT!

I worked a shift in the ICU today. I haven't been doing too much of that recently, but I still occasionally grace the unit with my exceptional nursing skills. Smile. I always feel like a duck out of water when I'm there though.

Lots of shocked looks when I walk in the door. And oh, the common question from my co-workers is always, "Where are you working these days?" As if I must have some other full time position to be only be pulling occasional 12's here at the hospital. Surely. :)

My answer is always, "At home, actually."

You see, I have these 2 boys, and they need their mommy...(trailing off)

Yeah, well, they don't get it, do they?

"Oh, you must have a rich husband..." they say, or "I could NEVER stay at home with my kids!" (I love that one, because I never thought I could either! :)

And truth be known, raising 2 boys as a full-time mommy is more exhausting to me than a busy day in an intensive care unit, with all the beeps and monitors, physicians yelling orders, and families breathing down your neck. It's a lot of pressure, don't get me wrong. But it's a piece of cake compared to a life around here. :)

And I say that with a smile. Because I LOVE my boys and this job the Lord has given me to do. I was overwhelmed today with thankfulness for the life that I have, for the blessing of being able to train tiny hearts and watch them grow. Instead of spending my days working full-time, only to see my boys occasionally. This is a wonderful life! So what if we cannot buy everything our hearts ever desired? The contentment we can find in the Lord, in doing His work, far surpasses the joy of *things,* doesn't it?

These verses have been running through my mind:

"Now godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6

"The young lions lack and suffer hunger, but those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing." Psalm 34:10

"Behold, this is the joy of His way..." Job 8:19

Serving the Lord as a mother is a wonderful life, a life filled with joy. Thank the Lord with me today!