A day at home can be a good thing

My kitchen window makes me smile. Simon picked every daffodil in bloom in the backyard for me - but I couldn't even be the slightest bit annoyed. He was so sweet and charming when he brought them in to me. Such a tenderhearted little man!

I was running a low-grade temp last night and just feeling kind of icky, so we stayed in today. I was bummed, because our MOPS meeting was this morning - and I love going. But Dave and I have a get-away weekend planned, so rest is essential. I don't want to miss this opportunity to spend time with my husband all alone...and maybe decide on a baby name too!

It turns out that a day of rest is what we all needed, I guess. By the end of yesterday I was ready to pull my hair out because of these wild banshees that I am apparently responsible for. :) I was frustrated, to say the least. Some days its like the noise level in this house gets way past what any sane person could tolerate...and other days, like today, well, sweet peace reigns.

Don't ask me what the difference is...I have no idea!

At lunchtime while we sat at the table together, I got out a couple books to read to them. One, Leading Little Ones to God, we bought on recommendation from a blog writer I love, and the other, A Child's First Book of Virtues, was given to us by our friend Barb V. The boys adore these books!


I must not read to them often enough, because they were so excited when I pulled them out. Ethan said, "Mom! This is just as good as watching a movie with popcorn! We get to listen to you read while we eat our yummy lunch!"

That kid never lacks enthusiasm, I'll say that much! :)

In the second book, we read several stories about the virtue of honesty. Always a good subject with preschool boys. Haha.

When I asked Ethan if he knew what the word honesty meant, he said, "yeah, it's like telling the truth, right?"

He thought for a moment and then sheepishly grinned up at me, "Remember when I used to get out chocolate chips without telling you and then I lied about it? That wasn't honesty."

Guess that made an impression on him! That was probably 6 months ago!

Mundane moments

Things have been looking up. My doctor prescribed an antihistamine and B6 combo for me that has really helped curb the evening sickies - so thankful for that. I honestly feel like relief is just around the corner anyway (I'm 11ish weeks), but I sure didn't feel that way this weekend. So I am giving pharmaceuticals a try. My hubby is glad - very glad. :)

With all this time in bed (or on the couch) I've made lots of headway on the stack of books in my bedside table. At least enough that I feel sufficiently guilty for everything I'm not doing right now. I feel like I'm mostly just surviving the days - not making best use of every teachable moment with these kiddos. Can't wait for this first trimester to be over! :)

One book in particular has been so encouraging though. The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. It is about following Christ's example in reaching the hearts of our children. There is so much to process in that book - I know I'll have to reread it - and much of it applies to older children than I currently have. But a particular chapter really spoke to my heart yesterday. Sally was telling a story about one of her older children who was having trouble with impatience and outbursts at younger siblings on a certain day. In private she gently counseled the child,

"I have been so encouraged by your growth in the Lord. It is so exciting to see your passion for Him and the way you long for Him to use you. I know He will do something special in and through you in His own time. But it is so easy to get excited about the big things and then allow yourself to blow it in all the mundane moments of life. If you give yourself license to get angry and frustrated every time you feel you can justify it, then you risk sacrificing your testimony as you grow older..."

That is so good, isn't it???

The child humbly agreed that it was wrong to be so impatient, and admitted how much he desired to control himself. But he couldn't figure out how. And so she took him to Galatians 5:16, the secret really, to the Christian life.

"Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh."

That's the secret then - to learn to yield my life and my emotions and my actions moment by moment to Him. Because it really is my human tendancy to let things irritate me, to grow impatient, whether its with my children, or just the frustrations of life in general (accompanied by constant nausea! not an excuse - I'm just saying!).

I have good intentions with this whole mothering thing. I want to do an excellent job with what God has for me here on earth, but I have a wee little tendancy towards blowing it on the mundane moments. Lord, I need Your Spirit to give me strength to reflect Your supernatural responses to life's crazy demands! What a good reminder that was today.

Stomach bugs and good little boys

Good news! That little stomach bug is over and done with - in a mere 36 hours! I am not sure if it was the massive amounts of probiotics I consumed, or just my incredible immune system (that's a laugh, isn't it?), but I am so thankful to feel normal again.

The timing is always off for these kinds of things, isn't it? We never seem to get sick when life is slow and we were planning to stay home anyway. Oh wait! That's because life is never that slow! Ha, what was I thinking?

Regardless, it was a busy time for Dave, and so there was no calling hubby home to take care of this sick momma.

But I have to brag on my kiddos for just a bit. When I was at my worst on Wednesday afternoon and evening, they handled it so well! They played in their rooms together for hours until Dave made it home, never once giving me a minute of trouble. No arguing, no fighting, no repetitive ball throwing against the wall until I felt like loosing my mind. I was amazed, and oh, so thankful for small mercies.

The picture above is from a different day, but they did a lot of reading together, from what I overheard from my bed.

At one point I heard Ethan tell Simon, "Hey, brother, let's go get a snack in the kitchen. Come with me, brother." And they headed into the kitchen to eat a cheese stick together.

Meanwhile, I was hugging the toilet. :(

They took care of themselves for 5 hours without any help from me. And the house was still in really good shape when Dave got home. Aren't they the best?!

To me, it is just a reassurance that they are learning something here at home. I have to admit, sometimes I wonder! I find myself venting here about the hard days more often than the good ones, and I really shouldn't do that. It isn't an accurate picture of life around here. Not that Wednesday was a particularly good day for me, but seriously, my boys could not have been better behaved. It made me realize that our training is somehow paying off, even now while they are young, and there is no way we can quit now!

Because some days I feel like quitting. Okay, there, I said it. Don't be shocked. My husband hears it all the time. Don't worry though - he won't let me quit. :)

I thought of Proverbs 29:17 today,

"Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul."

and Hebrews 12:11,

"Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

It is not for nothing! We serve the Lord when we train little ones at home for Him. And work for Him yields fruit, in His time. This is so humbling to me because I regularly feel like the most impatient momma out there. I have one bad day, and I am just sure I have failed completely! (I am so dramatic, aren't I?) But on Wednesday I was reminded to continue on, to be faithful in what the Lord has asked of me. Because it does matter. Because it has an effect.

Because the Lord is working in our family - in His time. Isn't that reassuring?

Of head colds and spilled Cheerios

I have had a horrible cold for about a week now, which has resulted in a much slower pace for this sick mama. My boys are finally old enough (and usually obedient enough) to handle watching a half hour of Diego the Animal Rescuer while I sleep a little longer than normal in the morning. I am very thankful for this, as I don't think this has even been a possibility in my world for almost 4 years now. Moms can't just call in sick, you know? :) But for some reason, even with plenty of sleep, this cold just won't go away. I am drowning in tissues here.

Yesterday though, from the comfort of my cozy bed, I heard Ethan say, in a somewhat panicked voice, "Si! You are going to be in trouble! Mom is going to be so mad!"

and of course I knew I had to get up. It could only be baaaaaaaaad.

And it was. A whole box of Cheerios poured all over the living room carpet - by my youngest - and then ground into tiny bits by little toddler feet. Oh, such a wonderful thing to wake up to.

As an aside, the rule in our house is, no one gets out food without asking mom or dad first, and they are supposed to be at the table to eat it anyway. Both boys looked very guilty. They definitely knew they weren't supposed to have gotten the Cheerios out, much less litter the carpet with them. The blame was initially thrown on Simon, but some probing revealed that he was given the box by his brother in the first place.

Sigh.

I was so frustrated! I had friends coming over in a couple hours to help sew costumes for the chapel Christmas play, and now I had to spend the first part of my morning picking up hundreds of pieces of cereal and vacuuming up the rest. Our carpet has so many stains because of those 2 little stinkers, and I was (and still am!) so tired of cleaning up after them! It was not one of my finest mothering moments, I have to admit. And afterwards I wished that I had spoken more kindly, handled the situation with a bit more grace.

Don't get me wrong, I think my boys both needed to be corrected for disobeying. This is not a new rule in our home, and occasionally they try to see if we've changed our minds about it. Nope. Kids still eat at the kitchen table. Not changin' our minds about THAT! :)

But I could have spoken more kindly to them, shown my disappointment over their disobedience, instead of just frustration over the inconvenience they caused me.

And I so related to Kim's post about her daughter throwing the container of bleach down the stairs. (But who am I kidding? My situation is NOTHING compared to that!) And after finding out that lots of their clothes were ruined, her question about how to feel better about the situation. "Do you ever LOOSE IT when these types of things happen?" she asked.

Um, yeah. But I so wish that I did not. After all, they are just things--carpet or clothes, or anything else that doesn't stand a chance in a house filled with young ones--not nearly so important as the relationships I am developing with my dear children. I know this in my heart, but in the midst of difficult moments, it doesn't immediately come to mind. I just agonize over it later. :)

As I spent time with the Lord yesterday, I was really convicted by James 1.

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

"...be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves."

"he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does."

"if anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless."

I was reminded in the Lord's gracious way that, just as my two little boys were disobeying, their mama was too. I so need the Lord's help to learn how to respond to these types of situations.

I really appreciated Katherine's posts this week here and here about finding the balance between love and authority when raising preschoolers. Both are so necessary, aren't they? Children need to learn that God put parents in charge and that they need to obey. But they also need to experience unconditional love, in spite of what they do wrong. It is the "goodness of God that leads us to repentance," (Romans 2:4) and I can't help but think that that will go a long way with my littles ones too.

And most of all, it's what the Lord wants of me, to be a doer of the Word, and not a hearer only. To learn His ways and to speak like He would speak. I have so many thoughts about this, but Katherine put it into words very well:

"Some skills are natural for bossy people like me. But others must be painstakingly developed, asking God to do the work in me before He can do a work in them."

Lord, teach me to respond to these little ones the way YOU want me to. Help me be slow to speak in anger, always quick to show Your grace, and be faithful to train these boys You have given us.

Good Read

I've been reading this blog during nap time this week. It's written by a Christian mother of several children (some of whom are grown), and this week she's taken up the topic of raising children, what mistakes she thinks she made and what encouragement she can think of for those of us "in the trenches" with little ones. I have found it so real, and so very encouraging, so I thought I'd pass her series along to the rest of you.

Young Families
Grand Schemes
Older Mothers of the World Unite
As I Was Saying
Calling All Moms for Real Advice
Disciplining Children
10 Mistakes I Made as a Parent

And in case your children are taking marvelously long naps, like mine are today (this is unheard of!), read all the comments from the other seasoned moms too. So good!

Raising boys

Everywhere I go, people say to me, "Wow, those boys must keep you busy, huh?" It is so true. You need only watch them for a minute or so, and it's obvious. They are boys in every sense of the word. They are noisy, they are messy, and they love to play rough.


Part of me still wonders why the Lord chose me to be the mom of boys. I have to be honest, the pounding footsteps, the constant motion, and the wrestling matches are already way beyond my idea of a peaceful home. Did you know that 1 1/2 year olds know how to wrestle? Yeah, apparently they are born with the gene. I read the writings of other moms of boys, and I know I'm not alone.


All joking aside, I do trust the sovereignty of the Lord in choosing me to raise the 2 (so far) that He has entrusted into our care.
I may sigh a lot - and pray even more - but I do trust Him. He is able to teach me what I need to know to pass on to them, and to help me survive the process.


The more I pray about it though, the more I am convinced that the raising of boys should be very intentional in the age we live in. The distinction between the design of men and women has been visibly blurred in our culture, so much so that some people say now that children should have a choice about which gender they will embrace as they grow up. Granted, this is a very worldly view, but if we are not careful, this message can still creep unnoticed into our homes and influence our boys. Rather than growing up with the firm belief that the God of the universe chose them to be male for a purpose, and learning to be the kind of men He wants them to be.


When I blogged about Ethan's first bike, my mom jokingly asked if we would have let him choose a pink bike if he wanted to, mostly just teasing me because I tend to be a bit of a control freak. :) But to answer everyone's questions about that, if Ethan wanted a pink bike, we would NOT say okay. Dave says, "Absolutely not!" He wants his boys to tend toward masculine things, and for me to train them that way. And I see his wisdom in that.


Would it really matter all that much if Ethan had a pink bike when he was 3 or 4? Probably not. But why allow things now that we will never allow in a few years?


Now, as for who determined that pink was a girly color, I have no idea. But it is a long-established, culturally accepted thing, that pink belongs on girl clothes and toys, so rather than attempt to change the norm (because what is the point????), we plan to encourage our boys to make choices that reflect the men that God designed them to be.


And yes, we say, "Pink is for girls, honey," as politically incorrect as that may sound. We want the boys to know that there is a difference, and the pink issue is just the beginning, you know? :)

Hot Summer Days

It has been well over 100 degrees every day for the past couple weeks now, and I think I have just about had it! It's not the heat that bothers me so much (although I do start sweating just thinking about going outside), but having to keep my boys contained in this house all day long every day...well, I'm telling you, I may lose my mind before too long. They want to run and jump and do flips and summersaults , and anyone who knows me could tell you, that is *outdoor play* around here. :) No siree, I'm not that fun mom you've heard about who lets her kids jump on the beds or flip over the arms of the couch. You must have heard wrong. Not that it hasn't ever been attempted, but that's another story.

When you can't really go outside and play in the backyard or take a walk or anything else to break up the day, it just feels like the days are longer. So we've been trying to get creative and come up with *activities* to keep our days exciting (and mostly to keep the boys from bouncing off the walls...and that is no exaggeration!). Here's what we've been doing lately:

• Garage time - the kitten and riding toys make this almost as fun as outside (and at least 10 degrees cooler)
• Lots of reading library books together on the couch - Ethan's favorite book right now is I'm Not Afraid of Dogs, because just like the boy in the book, he really is. He always giggles a little at the end, when the boy figures out that dogs aren't so bad, and then he snuggles up to me as close as possible, as if maybe he's going to be forced to hold a dog too.
• Dress up - yeah, I know I have boys, but they enjoy this just as much as girls, I think. Our cowboy and construction worker costumes have been put to good use this week. And there has been lots of galloping in the basement, I can tell you that. "Mom! Watch me! This is how horses run!"
• Little boy chores - I labeled a spray bottle with Ethan's name and filled it with water and a few squirts of dish soap, and now when I'm cleaning, he gets out his bottle and a rag and helps me clean too. Yesterday he cleaned all the appliances in the kitchen...it was great!
• Table play - we've gotten out the craft closet supplies a lot recently, from puzzles to playdough, and lots of coloring too. Ethan just recently learned how to cut paper with scissors, a skill which has gotten him in some considerable trouble recently...ahem! That's another story too!

So we're surviving, but barely. Yesterday we joined Shawna and the girls for a morning of waterslide fun in their backyard. It was so nice to be outside and let the boys run off some of their energy.

And we've had lots of friends over for play dates too - Tanya with Kate and Zachary, Sonja with Jake, and of course the Bloom girls, not once but twice. Oh, I guess I can't say that anymore, since there is now a Bloom boy. Ha! :)

So I really shouldn't be complaining, since we've had lots of fun and fellowship recently. Still, today was particularly, shall we say, rowdy, and it just makes me soooooo so ready for fall. For trips to the pumpkin patch, and walks to the park. For bike riding, and for going to the zoo. For jumping in the leaves, and lazy days in the backyard. I truly love being at home with my boys, getting to plan our days around exciting adventures with just the 3 of us. These carefree days won't last forever...I need to remember to cherish them.

Grace for today

I just read this article by Dr. Laura that really made me stop and think:

One of my recent callers came up with what I'm sure she thought was the singular most legitimate reason for not being a stay-at-home-mom: "... it's not all enjoyable." I kid you not, she actually said that, followed by, "... and I just don't seem to be able to do it well." She did say that being with the kids was fine, it was all the other stuff: housekeeping, shopping, cooking, and so forth – that were described as unrewarding and relentless and, well, just not enjoyable.

She also complained that she just couldn't do it all well. I asked her what part of putting dishes in the dishwasher and making sure the clothes got through the washer and dryer and back into drawers was too complicated for her? She laughed and said that she didn't know why it was hard for her to do it right – it just was. Mind you, this was all said with a tone that did not suggest she had great concern about doing any of it better.

Truth be told, whether coming from a man or a woman, this behavior is self-centered, and displays a character that knows little of honor, obligation and sacrifice. This is a mentality, rampant today, that speaks not of what "I can do for my family?" but only for "What will I get out of what I do for my family?"...

The woman caller was resentful that her husband did not come home and do housework. I asked her when she did his paperwork, made his phone-calls, drove in his rush hour traffic and dealt with his boss. Silence. I reminded her that she is part of a team and each member of the team has its own responsibilities and that the end result was a peaceful, happy home.

In response to her call, a number of women wrote me to describe their deeper understanding of being the family team member at home.

Anita wrote:

I have something to say to the woman who was just not "enjoying" it. Life is like that. We all have stuff we don't like. True, there are some tasks we must do that may not be pleasant, but for the most part, we are free to choose what we do and when we do it. We are doing something extremely important and irreplaceable. But think this thought: We have incredible power within the home. We set the tone of the whole family. It is our honor to serve those we love and those who love us. And our lives are blessed with things that an office does not offer:

* The warm sun on your face.
* The laughter of children.
* Their sweet breathing when they are asleep.
* Breezes, flowers, spectacular cloudscapes.

Look at the world through the eyes of your children and see what a marvelous world we live in. Enjoy it all with them.

Sabina, another listener, wrote, "If she doesn't like being at home and walks out on her family when they need her, what does this teach her children? I have often used this myself as a teaching tool. When I ask my kids to do something, they frequently balk at my requests. When my daughter refused to help her siblings or do her chores, I tell her that we all have to do things we don't like to do.

"Each person in our family has responsibilities and we take care of each other. I tell her that sometimes I don't feel like getting up in the morning. What would happen if one day I didn't get up? How would she like it if I didn't make her lunch just because I didn't feel like it? She usually grumbles that she wouldn't like it and then proceeds to do her chores. The amazing thing is that it not only works, it's the absolute truth and really makes kids think about responsibilities and obligations."

I have been thinking a lot recently about self-sacrifice in the Christian life, and about choosing the Lord's way instead of my own. As Marvin DeGroff describes it, "Standing on the edge of the dock, looking out at what the Lord has for you, and saying, 'Yes, Lord, I'll take it!'" I so want to be willing to say that about EVERYTHING the Lord has for me, even the mundane, not so enjoyable tasks in each day. Because those things are His will for me, and I have come to firmly believe that the Lord's will is ALWAYS, unarguably, where I want to be.

And that may involve sacrifice sometimes. Our ultimate example, the Lord Jesus, lived a life full of sacrifice, laying down His human desires to obey His Father and bring glory to Him. This is the only reason that I have any standing before God, because His Son willing gave up His life to be a Sacrifice for my sin. Why should my life be any different?!?

As the old hymn says,

Love so amazing, so divine, demands my heart, my life, my all.

There is not a lot of recognition to be had in living a life filled with cleaning poopy diapers, wiping faces, cleaning bathrooms, keeping things tidy, doing the laundry (and putting it all away!), cooking meals, and shepherding tiny hearts, but I see in God's Word that it is the Lord's will for me. I'm so thankful for the grace to embrace that, and to be able to say, "I'll take it, Lord!" When I look ahead too far, and get overwhelmed by the enormity of it all, it seems so exhausting and TOO MUCH. But the Lord faithfully provides the grace for TODAY, to choose His Will today. I'm so thankful for that!

Little boys

Someone told me today that I seem to have incredible patience with my boys. As I laughed and shook my head, I realized her comment probably had more to do with how wild my boys were being at that moment, than because of my supernatural tranquility. It was a zoo around here today, especially in that last hour before Dave got home. This isn't unusual, but some days it hits me harder than others. This was one of those days. A wake up call really, when I finally realized that my children need a lot more correction than I'm doling out.

Hmmm...sometimes I wonder. How am I going to survive this?! And is the goal really just to *survive*? No, of course not, but honestly, I am constantly amazed at how much work this whole parenting thing takes!

I have been meditating on John 12:24 recently:

"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."

Becoming a parent is a call to die to self, isn't it? No one knows this better than the mom with the brand newborn baby, after being up all night trying every trick in the book to get that little one to sleep. We could just leave them in their cribs to figure it out on their own, I suppose, but we don't. We give up our greatest desire (at that moment) for precious sleep, and we pace the hall cuddling their tiny bodies and singing lullabies. It's definitely self-denial.

And from what I hear, things don't get any easier as kids get older. We can't always blame their behavior on teething or gas. :) We're responsible to teach them and train them in the ways of the Lord. Yikes. I want to go back to the baby phase!

So maybe I'm just thinking about all these things because my baby is turning 1 tomorrow. Or maybe I just had a bad day. But regardless, Amy's posts about Life with 3 under 3 have been a real encouragement to me this evening (I am typing on my MacBook, so I can't link to them...still figuring this thing out! But I link to her in my sidebar: Amy's Humble Musings). She had a lot of encouraging things to say about our reactions to, say, bad behavior, that makes us want to "go nuclear." Her advice was to stop everything for a few days and focus on getting things under control. The way she describes it makes me laugh. Go check it out...it's too good!

In her comments, a lady named Tina responded with this: In order to have a “plan of attack” and “consistency” and the ability to “put things on hold”, you must stay home as much as possible when the children are all very young. When my twins were little, (#S 3 and 4 of 5 under 7) I remember telling a godly older woman that my children seemed to disobey more in public than at home. She replied,”No, they don’t. You simply don’t notice the behaviours at home because you aren’t being watched and you’re more relaxed. Attack the character issues at home that bother you when you are in public. Be consistent and you’ll begin to notice that your children don’t disobey at the grocery store anymore!” She was right. We developed a plan of attack and soon I could count on them behaving anywhere (usually)! One other thing that comes to mind is importance of transitioning to “WHY” we behave. In the early “3 under 3″ stage, children must learn to obey because Daddy and Mommy say so. As the children grow,they must obey because God says so.

So anyway, tomorrow is a new day, another day to start fresh, and raise those kiddos right! I'm encouraged to keep at it, and really focus on my little boys' hearts. I may not be the most patient momma out there, but I do know that the Lord chose me for the job.

Baking cookies

Last week was a particularly "trying" week with Ethan, so on the advice from a parenting website that I frequent, I decided to keep him by my side pretty much all day long. This way, I can really work on his attitude and train him to obey me promptly and with a willing heart. It seems to really help him. I'm laughing under my breath as I type this because OF COURSE it helps, because, left to their own devices, how many kids grow up kind and obedient to authority? Um, of course not. :) Who are we kidding?!! Our children NEED for us to train them to respond the way God wants us to-it does not just happen!

And yet, when you keep your kids by your side all day long, it is a little harder to get things done around the house! :) I find that I have to stay constantly engaged all the time, keeping my mouth moving and directing Ethan to the next thing he can do. This kid moves a mile a minute, so if I pause for 2 seconds, he is bored. So anyway, we had a lot of fun. Late in the day, to pass some time until Dad got home for dinner, we decided to make cookies. Ethan loves to pour the ingredients into the mixing bowl and flip the switch to make it mix. Here's a picture of him getting a spoonful for the cookie sheet:


Apparently he also loves to share with his brother! I had no idea that he had given Simon the mixing paddle, but Simon was in heaven!
Next stop: bathtub!

Days like yesterday

Isn't it amazing how a little sleep can change your outlook on life?! I had a really rough day yesterday, and after sobbing to a friend for awhile, I just went to bed and prayed and prayed for wisdom to raise these little boys the Lord has entrusted to Dave and me. We so want to be faithful to raise them in a way that pleases the Lord, but at the ages they are, it is so hard to see results and trust that it will be worth it. I guess I should say that sometimes it's hard to trust that it will be worth it. Days like yesterday, when my 3 year old could not obey for the life of him! And after a multitude of trips to the bathroom for correction, I was exhausted and spent. What in the world is going on????!!!

I found this verse last night as I was pouring out my troubles to the Lord in a, "Why did you choose me to be their mom, Lord? I am not a strong enough person to raise such strong-willed little children," sort of way.

"Arise, cry out in the night, at the beginning of the watches; pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children..." Lamentations 2:19

And I completely changed my attitude right there. Instead of continuing to protest against the Lord's will for me, I realized that, OF COURSE, I am not a strong enough person to raise strong-willed children. And if I were, then I'd have no need for the Lord's help. If He had made me patient enough, and my children naturally sweet-tempered enough, then I'd never run to Him and beg for help! He wants for me to seek after His wisdom and rely on Him for strength minute by minute.

I so do not have it all together. :)

And after yesterday, I realize that that's good! Because the Lord gets the glory that way, in using a less-than-perfect mom to raise 2 mischievious little boys. It is obviously all because of Him!

It's so humbling though, you know? Because even when we feel like we're doing everything right, all our efforts may fail. Ultimately, the outcome isn't up to me, is it? The Lord has to win their hearts. He's just using me to soften their hearts toward the things of God.

Well, tonight when I put Ethan to bed, he put his hands on my cheeks and pulled my face towards his and gave me the sweetest kiss. "I just love you so much, Mom!" he said, making me think that I must have been dreaming up the events of yesterday. :)

And then he prayed for Christian and Abby, that they would not poop in their underwear (his own current problem!) in the brown house. I just about died laughing! That kid is so stinkin' funny!