Last week was a gift. Spring break - all my babies were home with me. I had weaned off Zofran, and was feeling wonderful! I couldn't even believe how amazing it felt just to have the energy to be out of bed all day and be able to fully participate in life. It's been a long three months. :)
We had company several times during the week, and hosted a baby shower one night. I shot hoops with my boys for hours. Friends stopped by, stayed awhile. I was managing dinner instead of sending Dave for take-out. :) Every bit of my house was clean. I was actually keeping up with things around here. It was magical!
Really, it was just normal stuff {the kind of ordinary days I had pre-pregnancy}, but I couldn't stop reveling in the beauty of the life the Lord has blessed me with. It was like I was seeing things through new eyes....maybe I was.
When Saturday brought nausea again, I was determined to press forward anyway with plans for a girls night out with some of my dear friends. Dave convinced me take a Zofran, despite how much I wanted to be off those wretched things. I managed to make it through the night, and had such a good time...pedicures at a salon, antique shopping and dinner at Teller's. But I probably wasn't the best of company, since I couldn't eat {and made frequent trips to the bathroom...ugh!}...by the end of the night, I knew it was getting bad and I needed to go back on my meds.
Sunday was more of the same.
I pulled myself out of bed anyway, downed some more meds, and made it to church. Dave suggested I stay home, but I was just longing for encouragement. Needing to hear from God. Feeling nauseous and puking again was disappointing - one week and I had completely changed my expectations for how my days would go. I should know by now not to form expectations about anything while pregnant. :P
We were late, but we hurried in and I just collapsed on the second row...hardly any seats left when you show up late! Dave headed straight for the front since he was leading adult Sunday School. We're going through the book of Matthew right now, and this week he was going to finally finish chapter 17.
During his message, he shared a simple thought about the Lord Jesus that really struck me. At the end of the chapter, Peter is asked if His Master should pay the temple tax, and Jesus questions his answer to the tax collectors. He had just shown Himself in His glory to him and James and John on the mount of transfiguration. When they came back down, immediately Jesus was faced with the failures and frustrations of His disciples. They couldn't heal the boy with the demon, and He explained how the Lord's work requires intimacy with the Father and self-denial ... and then pointed them to what they should really focus on,
22 When they came together in Galilee, he said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. 23 They will kill him, and on the third day he will be raised to life.” And the disciples were filled with grief.
In the midst of their discouragement and failure, He wanted them to take joy in His perspective.
Instead, all they saw was a reason to sorrow. {The disciples were apparently people like me...ha! A tad short sighted and easily pessimistic...}
Right after that is the portion where the tax collectors approach Peter and ask him if Jesus paid the temple tax. Being the Son of God, He shouldn't have needed to pay the tax - and Jesus gently rebukes Peter for his lack of defense for Him. But I love what He says next -
27 “But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours.”
Dave brought out the point that statistically the odds were beyond impossible of Peter finding that one fish that had the coin in its mouth. Why didn't Jesus just hand Peter a coin to pay the tax? Why send him on a seemingly crazy task?
It seems very precious to me that the Lord Jesus showed Himself to Peter in this way. Despite the bigger picture and His plan of salvation that included His death, the Lord cared about the everyday things in Peter's life too. And He showed Himself able to do the improbable...with just His spoken word.
I sat there on the second row, and felt the same encouragement that Peter must have felt all those years ago when he pulled his line in and checked the mouth of that fish. My God is a God of the impossible! And He cares...even about my earthly troubles.
Yes, He has a bigger plan, and yes, He wants me to grasp it. But He also wants to meet my needs in ways that blow me away. To show Himself faithful in my every day life.
To get me through these impossible days. When I am throwing up and spent, and pink eye rages through the family, and then some new virus strikes. When my human tendency is to sorrow and say, "I can't do this!" and lift my eyes from my apparent failure and show me instead His greater perspective.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Simon turns 5!
A few weeks ago we celebrated Simon's birthday at the gymnastics place in town. A few friends and family {Grandma and Grandpa Renes were in town}, cupcakes with sprinkles, and a medal for the birthday boy - the perfect 5 year old party!
What a difference a year makes in a young boy's life...I love looking back on my kids' birthdays and thinking about how much they have changed and grown up. In many ways Simon is still my cuddly little boy {and I am going to miss him so much next year when he goes to school!}, but he is undeniably maturing, moving past the toddler stage.
I never thought I'd see the day something replaced his love of the Cars movie, but Star Wars and Legos have taken over...in one short year. The box of Cars sits in the storage room in the basement, only pulled out for younger cousins now. Kinda makes me sad!
How can I describe the sweetness that is Simon? Even at 5, he still asks to snuggle with me. He is quick to offer hugs...to offer to help me make dinner. He is naturally affectionate with others. Already I think he will make a sweet husband someday.
And his smile...it just lights up his face and his eyes crinkle and disappear. I love Simon's smile!
But he is nothing if not fiercely competitive, but even in that, we've watched him grow up a little this year. Not so quick to throw a punch if the game doesn't go his way. Learning to work it out with words {if I had a dollar for every time I have reminded him to do this...}.
We attended Kindergarten Round Up a couple weeks ago, and it was such an exciting day for him. He is so ready to go and learn, and I am starting to get really excited for him. A year ago I was a little skeptical, I just couldn't imagine him being ready to leave my watch for that long. He has just been a squirrelly kid! Couldn't keep his hands to himself AT ALL! But watching him with other pre-kindergartners the other day I realized, he is ready...so ready. Praise the Lord for a little maturity!
Usually he is our healthy kid, but today Simon is home from church with a sore throat. And I am enjoying his cuddles. :) We're looking through his Star Wars Lego sticker book that he got for his birthday and remembering his gymnastics party fun. I just love my sweet little boy!
What a difference a year makes in a young boy's life...I love looking back on my kids' birthdays and thinking about how much they have changed and grown up. In many ways Simon is still my cuddly little boy {and I am going to miss him so much next year when he goes to school!}, but he is undeniably maturing, moving past the toddler stage.
I never thought I'd see the day something replaced his love of the Cars movie, but Star Wars and Legos have taken over...in one short year. The box of Cars sits in the storage room in the basement, only pulled out for younger cousins now. Kinda makes me sad!
How can I describe the sweetness that is Simon? Even at 5, he still asks to snuggle with me. He is quick to offer hugs...to offer to help me make dinner. He is naturally affectionate with others. Already I think he will make a sweet husband someday.
And his smile...it just lights up his face and his eyes crinkle and disappear. I love Simon's smile!
But he is nothing if not fiercely competitive, but even in that, we've watched him grow up a little this year. Not so quick to throw a punch if the game doesn't go his way. Learning to work it out with words {if I had a dollar for every time I have reminded him to do this...}.
We attended Kindergarten Round Up a couple weeks ago, and it was such an exciting day for him. He is so ready to go and learn, and I am starting to get really excited for him. A year ago I was a little skeptical, I just couldn't imagine him being ready to leave my watch for that long. He has just been a squirrelly kid! Couldn't keep his hands to himself AT ALL! But watching him with other pre-kindergartners the other day I realized, he is ready...so ready. Praise the Lord for a little maturity!
Usually he is our healthy kid, but today Simon is home from church with a sore throat. And I am enjoying his cuddles. :) We're looking through his Star Wars Lego sticker book that he got for his birthday and remembering his gymnastics party fun. I just love my sweet little boy!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Midday rest for the Mama
The temp on my computer reads 54, and my bedroom windows are open - a real taste of spring! That, and the fact that my boys are playing happily in the backyard together, concocting up some sort of pirate scheme complete with eye patches and drawn treasure maps, last I heard. I have missed our backyard so much this winter.
Meanwhile Clare sleeps on, wonderful napper that she is. She needs it today - she's had a little fever and just not been herself. Poor baby. She's ready for spring too.
I'm 15 weeks tomorrow {I think}, and definitely starting to feel better. Still quite dependent on Zofran some days, but others I can get by with just one pill or half and almost feel normal. My energy levels have picked up this last week, and I'm actually doing some simple cooking and cleaning and exercising again. And it feels amazing!
Granted, I still have some days that are 1st trimester all over again {usually when I've had a busy weekend or been on my feet all day the day before}, but having some break in the sickness is such a relief.
Many people have prayed for me, and helped me out during this time...and I am so very thankful. I long to be the one who can offer help again, instead of always being on the receiving end. It's a rather humbling place to be. :)
This week I'm thankful for:
39. Glimpses of normal
40. 1 Zofran days
41. God's Word written so many years ago - alive and essential to my everyday life
42. Date night starting up again - sweet friends reunited
43. A bedroom {and ajoining bathroom} to relax in - it is beautiful!
44. A husband who paints
45. A changing shape
46. Hearing my love teach the Word of God
47. The preciousness of the legacy of Don Schonberg
48. The generations who follow the Lord because a man chose to lead well
49. Online job charts
50. Work ethics being developed
51. Watching my oldest sweep and mop the kitchen today - what?????
52. A ready kindergartner
53. A school we love
54. The body of Christ - and what that means practically
Meanwhile Clare sleeps on, wonderful napper that she is. She needs it today - she's had a little fever and just not been herself. Poor baby. She's ready for spring too.
I'm 15 weeks tomorrow {I think}, and definitely starting to feel better. Still quite dependent on Zofran some days, but others I can get by with just one pill or half and almost feel normal. My energy levels have picked up this last week, and I'm actually doing some simple cooking and cleaning and exercising again. And it feels amazing!
Granted, I still have some days that are 1st trimester all over again {usually when I've had a busy weekend or been on my feet all day the day before}, but having some break in the sickness is such a relief.
Many people have prayed for me, and helped me out during this time...and I am so very thankful. I long to be the one who can offer help again, instead of always being on the receiving end. It's a rather humbling place to be. :)
But it has been special too, to be ministered to. To see the Holy Spirit whispering in someone else's ear about me - to feel the Lord's care for me in a real physical way - it has given me so much encouragement. Really, I am seeing how much this practical *meeting the needs of the saints* thing matters, how necessary it is to lift up the weak ones in our group of believers, to do everything we can to keep them going. When we're struggling, we need to feel the Lord's care, and often He chooses to show it to us through people.
People who listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and obey.
People who listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and obey.
This week I'm thankful for:
39. Glimpses of normal
40. 1 Zofran days
41. God's Word written so many years ago - alive and essential to my everyday life
42. Date night starting up again - sweet friends reunited
43. A bedroom {and ajoining bathroom} to relax in - it is beautiful!
44. A husband who paints
45. A changing shape
46. Hearing my love teach the Word of God
47. The preciousness of the legacy of Don Schonberg
48. The generations who follow the Lord because a man chose to lead well
49. Online job charts
50. Work ethics being developed
51. Watching my oldest sweep and mop the kitchen today - what?????
52. A ready kindergartner
53. A school we love
54. The body of Christ - and what that means practically
Thursday, February 24, 2011
You're the Potter...I'm the Clay
Going through pics tonight, and I came across these ones of Matt and Erica's wedding a few months ago. So fun!
Well, it's baby week 12. Can hardly believe it! :) In a way, these first trimester weeks are flying by, a blur of similar days. I wake up feeling great, attempt to get as much done before noon as I can, because I become pretty useless after that. But I've had a few really good days mixed in there, and twice this week I got dinner on the table. {Dave and I exchanged high fives, and then I collapsed to my nightly spot in bed, but still...an accomplishment} He has really held down the fort around here, in a way that I would never have imagined him capable of, back in our early years of marriage. Sweet, sweet Dave.
Despite the glimpses of second trimester I've experienced recently, my mind has been playing funny tricks on me. Swirling thoughts... Can I really do this? Remember what the last pregnancy was like? I feel so bad for being so sick all the time...how are my other 3 kiddos going to fare through all of this?? And for that matter, how am I ever going to manage 4 kids? Holy cow! It is all so very overwhelming to me. {for the record, Dave laughs when I get like this...}
In Bible study on Wednesday we were discussing Isaiah 44 and 45, and it was like the Lord bent down and answered me right there. Assured me of His plan....through a plan of His so many years ago.
The Lord was announcing that He was choosing a man who hadn't even been born yet, Cyrus, King of Persia, to release God's people from exile (which hadn't even started yet) and rebuild His city. Just one of many prophecies in the book of Isaiah. Cyrus was divinely set apart by God for a purpose, even though he was a Gentile and initially wouldn't even acknowledge the One True God.
What I found especially encouraging was God's gentle rebuke to His people. Maybe He knew how they would react to news of this prophecy, I don't know. But He says this to them in 45:9,
Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker,
those who are nothing but potsherds
among the potsherds on the ground.
Does the clay say to the potter,
‘What are you making?’
Does your work say,
‘The potter has no hands’?...
“This is what the LORD says—
the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker:
Concerning things to come,
do you question me about my children,
or give me orders about the work of my hands?
It is I who made the earth
and created mankind on it.
My own hands stretched out the heavens;
I marshaled their starry hosts.
I will raise up Cyrus in my righteousness:
I will make all his ways straight.
He will rebuild my city
and set my exiles free...
It has been a gentle {or not so gentle} rebuke to me too.
This passage is quoted in the New Testament too, in Romans 9, in a discussion of God's sovereignty.
But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?" Has the potter no right over the clay?
I've read it many times over the course of my life, but the Lord used it Wednesday to remind me of my place...and to assure me of His plan. Despite how inadequate I may feel, He made me this way {morning sickness and all}, and He chose this job for me to do. And He is the One who chooses...not me. I cannot tell you how freeing it was for me to dwell on that.
Back to wedding pics...what an amazing weekend it was! We are truly so thankful for this girl the Lord brought into my brother's life.
My brother built the structure in the center of the room, at his bride's request. It turned out amazing, Matt!
I love this shot...
This sweet guy has served us all in so many ways these last few months. From making dinner after a long days of work, to running out for ice cream at all hours of the night. Cleaning toilets, and changing diapers...and pulling off a church family night here last weekend. Such a guy I married!
Well, it's baby week 12. Can hardly believe it! :) In a way, these first trimester weeks are flying by, a blur of similar days. I wake up feeling great, attempt to get as much done before noon as I can, because I become pretty useless after that. But I've had a few really good days mixed in there, and twice this week I got dinner on the table. {Dave and I exchanged high fives, and then I collapsed to my nightly spot in bed, but still...an accomplishment} He has really held down the fort around here, in a way that I would never have imagined him capable of, back in our early years of marriage. Sweet, sweet Dave.
Despite the glimpses of second trimester I've experienced recently, my mind has been playing funny tricks on me. Swirling thoughts... Can I really do this? Remember what the last pregnancy was like? I feel so bad for being so sick all the time...how are my other 3 kiddos going to fare through all of this?? And for that matter, how am I ever going to manage 4 kids? Holy cow! It is all so very overwhelming to me. {for the record, Dave laughs when I get like this...}
In Bible study on Wednesday we were discussing Isaiah 44 and 45, and it was like the Lord bent down and answered me right there. Assured me of His plan....through a plan of His so many years ago.
The Lord was announcing that He was choosing a man who hadn't even been born yet, Cyrus, King of Persia, to release God's people from exile (which hadn't even started yet) and rebuild His city. Just one of many prophecies in the book of Isaiah. Cyrus was divinely set apart by God for a purpose, even though he was a Gentile and initially wouldn't even acknowledge the One True God.
What I found especially encouraging was God's gentle rebuke to His people. Maybe He knew how they would react to news of this prophecy, I don't know. But He says this to them in 45:9,
Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker,
those who are nothing but potsherds
among the potsherds on the ground.
Does the clay say to the potter,
‘What are you making?’
Does your work say,
‘The potter has no hands’?...
“This is what the LORD says—
the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker:
Concerning things to come,
do you question me about my children,
or give me orders about the work of my hands?
It is I who made the earth
and created mankind on it.
My own hands stretched out the heavens;
I marshaled their starry hosts.
I will raise up Cyrus in my righteousness:
I will make all his ways straight.
He will rebuild my city
and set my exiles free...
It has been a gentle {or not so gentle} rebuke to me too.
This passage is quoted in the New Testament too, in Romans 9, in a discussion of God's sovereignty.
But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?" Has the potter no right over the clay?
I've read it many times over the course of my life, but the Lord used it Wednesday to remind me of my place...and to assure me of His plan. Despite how inadequate I may feel, He made me this way {morning sickness and all}, and He chose this job for me to do. And He is the One who chooses...not me. I cannot tell you how freeing it was for me to dwell on that.
Back to wedding pics...what an amazing weekend it was! We are truly so thankful for this girl the Lord brought into my brother's life.
My brother built the structure in the center of the room, at his bride's request. It turned out amazing, Matt!
I love this shot...
This sweet guy has served us all in so many ways these last few months. From making dinner after a long days of work, to running out for ice cream at all hours of the night. Cleaning toilets, and changing diapers...and pulling off a church family night here last weekend. Such a guy I married!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Humble thoughts
My house is a mess.
There are dirty clothes on every bedroom floor, and dishes in my sink. My laundry is piled up high. Every time I look at the kitchen counter, all I see are the stuck on crumbs and sticky finger prints. Crusted on to the stove top are the remains of last night's dinner.
I snapped my eyes shut and walked away, up here to my bed where I can lay still for a bit while Clare naps. The mess is driving me crazy, yes, but I can't will myself to stay upright long enough to do anything about it. And that is really saying something...
Pregnancies (at least these last 2) have a way of truly humbling me. No matter how badly I want to keep up with things or push past the nausea, some days I just can't. And it is a very dark place for me. To be laid so low, so incapable. I have wrestled with this in my mind, day after day, begging the Lord to help me submit to His will for my life joyfully.
Because He is allowing it, is He not? And He loves me, and is working for my good. I know this. But in the very dark moments, late at night when the *morning* sickness is at its worst, I am weak and I forget. I'm kind of having deja vu here...oh yeah, been there before I guess. :)
A few days before I discovered this new little life, Dave and I were thinking and praying about what God had for our future. We both felt so very blessed and sure that He was leading us down a new road, that He had something new for us in store. We were praying about what that might be, and excited about the possibilities. Little did we know, He was already at work and intricately weaving our child's life, a fourth blessing. This was an unexpected gift, yet such a far cry from what we thought this next year or two would hold.
And so, we attempted to mentally switch gears a little, to embrace this plan of His.
I am very thankful for a God who has a plan. I'm especially thankful that He asks hard things of me, and that even if I wouldn't necessarily want to walk down a hard road, He will nudge me along and teach me His ways. How to live humbly. To realize more fully all my inadequacies. To beg for His help to do this job He has given me to do.
I actually made it to Bible study this morning, and it was like a breath of fresh air. Just to be surrounded by God's Word and others who love Him. The book of Isaiah has been challenging and convicting, just what I need.
Because sometimes when you're going through a trial, the fluff just doesn't cut it, you know? You need to see God, to understand Him more, to catch a glimpse of His character. You need to be reassured of His love. And of His power and strength.
In Isaiah 42, God says that for a long time He kept silent and held Himself back (v. 14). He did not immediately punish His enemies, He did not immediately cast out His people when they stopped following His ways. The Lord has ultimate self-control, and even when the circumstances are stormy and the trial is great, this does not reflect on His ability to calm the storm. If He were as emotionally charged as I am, He would probably bend to any plea for relief that I might make. But He waits...because He can hold Himself back and persevere to fulfill His plan. He loves me enough to do what is best for me. And ultimately for Him, for His glory.
That is one thing I have been struck by in the book of Isaiah - God's glory. It is so very important to Him! Verse 8 says,
There are dirty clothes on every bedroom floor, and dishes in my sink. My laundry is piled up high. Every time I look at the kitchen counter, all I see are the stuck on crumbs and sticky finger prints. Crusted on to the stove top are the remains of last night's dinner.
I snapped my eyes shut and walked away, up here to my bed where I can lay still for a bit while Clare naps. The mess is driving me crazy, yes, but I can't will myself to stay upright long enough to do anything about it. And that is really saying something...
Pregnancies (at least these last 2) have a way of truly humbling me. No matter how badly I want to keep up with things or push past the nausea, some days I just can't. And it is a very dark place for me. To be laid so low, so incapable. I have wrestled with this in my mind, day after day, begging the Lord to help me submit to His will for my life joyfully.
Because He is allowing it, is He not? And He loves me, and is working for my good. I know this. But in the very dark moments, late at night when the *morning* sickness is at its worst, I am weak and I forget. I'm kind of having deja vu here...oh yeah, been there before I guess. :)
A few days before I discovered this new little life, Dave and I were thinking and praying about what God had for our future. We both felt so very blessed and sure that He was leading us down a new road, that He had something new for us in store. We were praying about what that might be, and excited about the possibilities. Little did we know, He was already at work and intricately weaving our child's life, a fourth blessing. This was an unexpected gift, yet such a far cry from what we thought this next year or two would hold.
And so, we attempted to mentally switch gears a little, to embrace this plan of His.
I am very thankful for a God who has a plan. I'm especially thankful that He asks hard things of me, and that even if I wouldn't necessarily want to walk down a hard road, He will nudge me along and teach me His ways. How to live humbly. To realize more fully all my inadequacies. To beg for His help to do this job He has given me to do.
I actually made it to Bible study this morning, and it was like a breath of fresh air. Just to be surrounded by God's Word and others who love Him. The book of Isaiah has been challenging and convicting, just what I need.
Because sometimes when you're going through a trial, the fluff just doesn't cut it, you know? You need to see God, to understand Him more, to catch a glimpse of His character. You need to be reassured of His love. And of His power and strength.
In Isaiah 42, God says that for a long time He kept silent and held Himself back (v. 14). He did not immediately punish His enemies, He did not immediately cast out His people when they stopped following His ways. The Lord has ultimate self-control, and even when the circumstances are stormy and the trial is great, this does not reflect on His ability to calm the storm. If He were as emotionally charged as I am, He would probably bend to any plea for relief that I might make. But He waits...because He can hold Himself back and persevere to fulfill His plan. He loves me enough to do what is best for me. And ultimately for Him, for His glory.
That is one thing I have been struck by in the book of Isaiah - God's glory. It is so very important to Him! Verse 8 says,
I am the LORD; that is My name!
I will not yield My glory to another
or My praise to idols.
In chapter 44, God proclaims that He is the only God, that treasuring anything other than Him is worthless. This is the irony of the situation, that we as humans would choose to essentially worship the things that we do or accomplish or create, rather than the One who really deserves our praise. {For myself, keeping a home or making healthy, gourmet meals...or being a fun mom}
It is in the quiet moments, sometimes in the midst of a dark trial, that everything gets stripped away, and there is nothing left that we can do or perform, our strength is gone...and we become very aware of who we are before the Lord God.
I am counting on this broken little life to give Him glory. At least, that is my prayer for this pregnancy, and this journey of motherhood. For Him to strip away all that I can do or accomplish in my own strength and teach me more of Himself. Because when I look back over my 32 years, the difficult periods of life have been the times of growth, when the Lord has seemed very near to me. I haven't always understood what He is doing, nor do I have all the answers now, but He has always been faithful to me, and to His character.
I'm holding tight to that today.
{Clare just joined me in bed, and as we snuggled up together in post-nap sweetness, she noticed the wind was howling outside my window. The wind is talkin', she says... I love 21 month olds. :) }
I will not yield My glory to another
or My praise to idols.
In chapter 44, God proclaims that He is the only God, that treasuring anything other than Him is worthless. This is the irony of the situation, that we as humans would choose to essentially worship the things that we do or accomplish or create, rather than the One who really deserves our praise. {For myself, keeping a home or making healthy, gourmet meals...or being a fun mom}
It is in the quiet moments, sometimes in the midst of a dark trial, that everything gets stripped away, and there is nothing left that we can do or perform, our strength is gone...and we become very aware of who we are before the Lord God.
I am counting on this broken little life to give Him glory. At least, that is my prayer for this pregnancy, and this journey of motherhood. For Him to strip away all that I can do or accomplish in my own strength and teach me more of Himself. Because when I look back over my 32 years, the difficult periods of life have been the times of growth, when the Lord has seemed very near to me. I haven't always understood what He is doing, nor do I have all the answers now, but He has always been faithful to me, and to His character.
I'm holding tight to that today.
{Clare just joined me in bed, and as we snuggled up together in post-nap sweetness, she noticed the wind was howling outside my window. The wind is talkin', she says... I love 21 month olds. :) }
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
This post is not for anyone with a weak stomach
She cried when I laid her down for her nap today. That should have been my first clue. My little girl who begs for naps...I can't remember the last time she cried when I laid her down, if ever.
After several minutes I went and got her and put her in bed with me. She seemed happy enough to watch Dora the Explorer on my laptop while I rested, but when I went downstairs to get ready to pick up Ethan from school, I heard her scream. When I made it up the stairs, she was covered in puke. Think curdled milk.
{This is where the story gets icky, but anyone who has ever experienced morning sickness or hyperemesis can probably relate. It is bad news for an expecting mama to see puke/hear puke/touch puke. At least for me it is.}
Dave was in Lawrence in a meeting, Ethan needed to be picked up from school in 24 minutes (the school is 15 min from my house), and I had some major clean-up on my hands. Oh yes, and I was sobbing. The only calories I had consumed all day were flushed down the toilet, and it left me pretty shaky. I am ever so thankful for my friend Ashley, and her willingness to pick Ethan up and bring him home for me. She is such a sweet friend.
I am a mess, I tell you. A mess.
By the time Ashley dropped Ethan off, I had just finished cleaning the carpet, the mattress, bleaching the tub after Clare's bath, and the sheets were going in the washer. Ethan walked in and said, "Mom, my throat hurts really bad! It has hurt all day!" And he laid down on the couch in fetal position. He just finished his round of antibiotics for strep throat 2 days ago.
It has been the longest day I can remember in a good long while. Longer than yesterday, even. :) I held Clare most of the evening {and let's just say this afternoon wasn't a fluke} and talked to the doctor's office in between cleaning her up, while Dave attempted dinner and a Dillons run to get ibuprofen. As soon as the kids were in bed, we noticed the washing machine was leaking.
Gotta have a working washing machine when the stomach flu hits. ;) ...oh my...
But as Dave was working on the washer, and I was attempting to remake our bed so I could lie down, I had this thought. Wow, things could have been so much worse. Haha, no really, its true. I am beyond exhausted now, yes, and 2 out of 3 kids are sick...but when I stop and think about the reality of the situation and all the Lord spared us from today, my perspective changes.
For instance...I am so thankful for:
29. A laptop that still works {the puke was ever so close, but not a drop on the keyboard}
30. A dependable friend
31. A mattress that we were already planning to replace - no need to worry about that one, cleaned it the best I could but we'll see.
32. A middle child who rarely gets sick and knows how to play on his own when the going gets tough around here.
33. An email today, reminding us of our free period of the Starz movie channel. Playing tonight: Up and Planet 51. Thank you, Lord.
34. 2 extra hours to get my Azure order in.
35. Dillons mashed potatoes.
36. A washing machine that leaked after my sheets were clean, not before.
37. A handy husband who attempts to fix issues on his own {and sends me to bed}.
38. Tomorrow: a chance to stay home and hibernate in this blizzard. :)
I'm sure there are more things to praise Him for, but my eyes are heavy now. Janet posted this quote on fb today that sums it all up:
After several minutes I went and got her and put her in bed with me. She seemed happy enough to watch Dora the Explorer on my laptop while I rested, but when I went downstairs to get ready to pick up Ethan from school, I heard her scream. When I made it up the stairs, she was covered in puke. Think curdled milk.
{This is where the story gets icky, but anyone who has ever experienced morning sickness or hyperemesis can probably relate. It is bad news for an expecting mama to see puke/hear puke/touch puke. At least for me it is.}
Dave was in Lawrence in a meeting, Ethan needed to be picked up from school in 24 minutes (the school is 15 min from my house), and I had some major clean-up on my hands. Oh yes, and I was sobbing. The only calories I had consumed all day were flushed down the toilet, and it left me pretty shaky. I am ever so thankful for my friend Ashley, and her willingness to pick Ethan up and bring him home for me. She is such a sweet friend.
I am a mess, I tell you. A mess.
By the time Ashley dropped Ethan off, I had just finished cleaning the carpet, the mattress, bleaching the tub after Clare's bath, and the sheets were going in the washer. Ethan walked in and said, "Mom, my throat hurts really bad! It has hurt all day!" And he laid down on the couch in fetal position. He just finished his round of antibiotics for strep throat 2 days ago.
It has been the longest day I can remember in a good long while. Longer than yesterday, even. :) I held Clare most of the evening {and let's just say this afternoon wasn't a fluke} and talked to the doctor's office in between cleaning her up, while Dave attempted dinner and a Dillons run to get ibuprofen. As soon as the kids were in bed, we noticed the washing machine was leaking.
Gotta have a working washing machine when the stomach flu hits. ;) ...oh my...
But as Dave was working on the washer, and I was attempting to remake our bed so I could lie down, I had this thought. Wow, things could have been so much worse. Haha, no really, its true. I am beyond exhausted now, yes, and 2 out of 3 kids are sick...but when I stop and think about the reality of the situation and all the Lord spared us from today, my perspective changes.
For instance...I am so thankful for:
29. A laptop that still works {the puke was ever so close, but not a drop on the keyboard}
30. A dependable friend
31. A mattress that we were already planning to replace - no need to worry about that one, cleaned it the best I could but we'll see.
32. A middle child who rarely gets sick and knows how to play on his own when the going gets tough around here.
33. An email today, reminding us of our free period of the Starz movie channel. Playing tonight: Up and Planet 51. Thank you, Lord.
34. 2 extra hours to get my Azure order in.
35. Dillons mashed potatoes.
36. A washing machine that leaked after my sheets were clean, not before.
37. A handy husband who attempts to fix issues on his own {and sends me to bed}.
38. Tomorrow: a chance to stay home and hibernate in this blizzard. :)
I'm sure there are more things to praise Him for, but my eyes are heavy now. Janet posted this quote on fb today that sums it all up:
Monday, February 07, 2011
At the end of the day...
Today has been long. Dave got free tickets to the KU game, so I haven't seen him since he left this morning.
I haven't done the evening routine with the kids in a couple months now, so tonight was a bit of a stretch for me, energy wise. But it went smoothly, and when I was cuddled up with two boys, still damp from the bath, we just read and read. They both laid a head on my shoulders when we prayed.
Simon wanted to know if I can feel the baby. Yes, amazingly enough, I can.
Ethan wanted to know how big it is. About the size of a grape, E. He cocks his head and thinks on that one for a bit. :)
They are getting excited, and it is very sweet to watch. Reminds me of how they prayed for a baby sister for so many months, and how much they both adore her now. Family is precious.
I have so many things to be thankful for, but these are His blessings I've noticed today...
21. Flowers in bloom, just days later!
22. Faithful friends who pray.
23. Grace to make it through the difficult task I was worried about this weekend.
24. Dinner in the crockpot by 9 am.
25. The energy to make yogurt this morning.
26. And pumpkin bread too. Haven't baked in a good long while.
27. Mornings without morning sickness.
28. Evenings are a different story, but even then, there is grace. And zofran.
27. An engineer husband, passing on his skills.
28. A tiny heart, beating steady. We are so blessed.
I haven't done the evening routine with the kids in a couple months now, so tonight was a bit of a stretch for me, energy wise. But it went smoothly, and when I was cuddled up with two boys, still damp from the bath, we just read and read. They both laid a head on my shoulders when we prayed.
Simon wanted to know if I can feel the baby. Yes, amazingly enough, I can.
Ethan wanted to know how big it is. About the size of a grape, E. He cocks his head and thinks on that one for a bit. :)
They are getting excited, and it is very sweet to watch. Reminds me of how they prayed for a baby sister for so many months, and how much they both adore her now. Family is precious.
I have so many things to be thankful for, but these are His blessings I've noticed today...
21. Flowers in bloom, just days later!
22. Faithful friends who pray.
23. Grace to make it through the difficult task I was worried about this weekend.
24. Dinner in the crockpot by 9 am.
25. The energy to make yogurt this morning.
26. And pumpkin bread too. Haven't baked in a good long while.
27. Mornings without morning sickness.
28. Evenings are a different story, but even then, there is grace. And zofran.
27. An engineer husband, passing on his skills.
28. A tiny heart, beating steady. We are so blessed.
Joining...
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Beginning to write them down
Reading Ann's book has inspired me to record the little things I am thankful for, an exercise in learning the discipline of gratefulness. Because I want my perspective to be His perspective. To see the day, the moment, as He sees it.
{A Christmas ago, Dave bought me Nancy Lee DeMoss' book Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy on a whim, and it was just what I needed to read. It is very much the same message as 1000 Gifts. Both authors encourage practicing thankfulness, to make it the habit of your life. And truly, this has been life-changing for me - to look for His hand, the good, in all circumstances. It brings so much peace and contentment...and joy!}
I read through my blog a few weeks ago and was inspired again to keep recording our little lives and the things the Lord has been teaching me. I forget so quickly...and this journaling that I've done so far is important. So that I can look back and really see...
So today I'm thankful for...
{A Christmas ago, Dave bought me Nancy Lee DeMoss' book Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy on a whim, and it was just what I needed to read. It is very much the same message as 1000 Gifts. Both authors encourage practicing thankfulness, to make it the habit of your life. And truly, this has been life-changing for me - to look for His hand, the good, in all circumstances. It brings so much peace and contentment...and joy!}
I read through my blog a few weeks ago and was inspired again to keep recording our little lives and the things the Lord has been teaching me. I forget so quickly...and this journaling that I've done so far is important. So that I can look back and really see...
So today I'm thankful for...
- Quiet times {that aren't really quiet} when my oldest wants to join me. He is reading through John. Precious!
- Sharing with each other what the Lord showed us in our reading.
- Asking the Lord to help us submit to the Holy Spirit today (Galations 5), and talking about what that means.
- Winter whites, shooting up on the table. Planted only a week and a half ago! Every day we watch them grow a little and we are amazed!
- Messages from boys.
- A hard day, opportunity to work on someone's heart.
- The cheerful obedience that follows.
- Basil growing up tall. I can't wait to have a garden!
- The first blizzard I can remember.
- Passion tea from Starbucks, and sweet friends that drop it by and stay awhile.
- Dave home early. Never happens!
- The offer of a snow blower from a neighbor.
- Snow days, now 5 this year already.
- Choosing fun over chores...snow icecream!
- A daughter to raid her daddy's candy drawer.
- Beautiful children.
- Brothers who love each other.
- Netflix.
- A husband who helps.
- And children who do too.
"The Lord looks from heaven;
He sees all the sons of men...
He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works.
Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,
on those who hope in His mercy...
our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name."
Psalm 33:13-21
He sees all the sons of men...
He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works.
Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,
on those who hope in His mercy...
our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name."
Psalm 33:13-21
Joining...
Friday, January 28, 2011
Day by Day
I've been thinking about this hymn today, and what a comfort it has been to me in a few of the very dark hours of my life. Where would I be without the faithfulness of the Lord and His dependability by His very nature?
I have learned to not look ahead to the future, but to just trust Him for strength today for what He brings. And He has never let me down.
Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
I've no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.
Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
He whose name is Counselor and Power.
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
"As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"
This the pledge to me He made.
Help me then, in every tribulation,
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith's sweet consolation,
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E'er to take, as from a father's hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till with Christ the Lord I stand.
I have learned to not look ahead to the future, but to just trust Him for strength today for what He brings. And He has never let me down.
Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
I've no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.
Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
He whose name is Counselor and Power.
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
"As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"
This the pledge to me He made.
Help me then, in every tribulation,
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith's sweet consolation,
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E'er to take, as from a father's hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till with Christ the Lord I stand.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Let Go
I'm currently reading One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp. I bought it for my iphone kindle app, so its in digital form. This is a handy way to read, for a mom.
And you can read at night, after the lights are out. This is what I needed when I was ten, so I didn't get busted by my sister for reading by the nightlight. Or the neighbor for that matter (he seriously told my mom that he saw my bedroom light on at 2 am.) Die hard reader, what can I say?
I have really appreciated Ann's words about giving thanks, in all things - this is something the Lord has been teaching me and it has changed my life over the course of the last year. A way to find joy in the day to day, to accept all circumstances as from Him. It's the way to really live!
Because the more we deliberately notice the blessings He gives, the more we come to trust Him and see how much He loves us.
Thought from the book that really struck me tonight:
"Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control...let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy's fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy's flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will."
Speaking of thanks, we loved this Christmas with our kids. It was encouraging to us to see their genuine appreciation and enthusiasm for the gifts we had chosen for them. Can't help but think that the Lord enjoys a thankful heart far more than I do.
"Give thanks to the Lord of Lords
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who alone does mighty miracles.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who made the heavens so skillfully.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who placed the earth among the waters.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who made the heavenly lights -
His faithful love endures forever."
Psalm 136:3-7
And you can read at night, after the lights are out. This is what I needed when I was ten, so I didn't get busted by my sister for reading by the nightlight. Or the neighbor for that matter (he seriously told my mom that he saw my bedroom light on at 2 am.) Die hard reader, what can I say?
I have really appreciated Ann's words about giving thanks, in all things - this is something the Lord has been teaching me and it has changed my life over the course of the last year. A way to find joy in the day to day, to accept all circumstances as from Him. It's the way to really live!
Because the more we deliberately notice the blessings He gives, the more we come to trust Him and see how much He loves us.
Thought from the book that really struck me tonight:
"Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control...let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy's fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy's flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will."
Speaking of thanks, we loved this Christmas with our kids. It was encouraging to us to see their genuine appreciation and enthusiasm for the gifts we had chosen for them. Can't help but think that the Lord enjoys a thankful heart far more than I do.
"Give thanks to the Lord of Lords
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who alone does mighty miracles.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who made the heavens so skillfully.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who placed the earth among the waters.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who made the heavenly lights -
His faithful love endures forever."
Psalm 136:3-7
Monday, January 10, 2011
The most perfect Monday ever (at least in a kid's mind)
Today we got our first real snow of the winter, somewhere close to a foot, and school was canceled accordingly. Every little boy's dream come true!
Clare was determined to go out this year, even though I tried to keep her in. Even ventured down the block a few houses and met some neighbors and their dog, her current obsession. Goggies, she calls them. She has no fear.
Only snow could draw this boy away from his beloved wii.
She probably ate way too much of the powdery stuff. I have to admit, I just thought it was cute.
The boys were *snowboarding* down our driveway on their sleds. I tried not to look. Being the mom of boys has required me to bite my tongue on many occasions, this was definitely one of them.
At least it wasn't as dangerous as what the neighbors were doing - flying around the block pulling 2 kids on sleds behind their truck. Um yeah. (but my boys thought it was pretty sweet!)
I have the world's sweetest kids. Did you know that?
It's supposed to snow all night, and we just got word that tomorrow is a snow day too!
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Time
I'm in the basement, *watching* Simon play Star Wars on the wii. This is his love language, I think...or at least, time...or closeness...something like that.
He doesn't want to be alone. But he is perfectly content to play alone, provided that someone - even Clare - is in the same room. He's a funny kid. :)
I've said no to a lot of commitments this year in order to just be with the kids, and it has been a very good thing. Sitting and talking, reading books together, playing on the floor with them...they crave this. And it isn't always possible when I am running around, always late to something and cranky because of it.
Nearly every week an opportunity presents itself to add something to our schedule. Leadership opportunities, Bible studies, business ventures, play dates, sports, moms night out....I have had to weigh things very carefully this year. It is hard to say no to a good thing! But sometimes saying no to a good thing frees us up for what is best. It is a difficult balance for me.
I'm realizing more and more that my attitude sets the tone for our home, and when I am stressed because of things I'm doing, I'm not the mom I want to be. Not the mom the Lord wants me to be.
pics from Reagan's baby shower a few weeks agoThis year has been a gift, in that way. So much less stress, so much more time to just grow closer to my children.
Next year Simon goes to kindergarten. I can hardly believe he is old enough for that! School means less time here, so the time we do have together is a precious commodity. A friend of mine gave me some good advice, and I've been attempting to practice it. She said to have everything done - cleaning, dinner prep, bills, etc.. - by the time school was out. That way you can really focus on your child when they get home from school. Find out what what is going inside, and what struggles they are facing. Seems really common sense, but it was so helpful for me to have that as my goal. To be done for the day...so that Ethan knows that when he gets home, I have time to talk! I am available...
and next year it will be Simon going to school too... sob!
He just beat Darth Maul!!!! Oh the excitement!!!!!
I love this kid! :)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday thoughts
Almost December...its a busy time of year! We made it through Thanksgiving, traveling to my parents' and then hosting Dave's family, and some wonderful days of just us too. We have reached the stage in family life where time together with just the 5 of us is really, really fun! Playing games or wii together, talking, laughing...I am very thankful for this. As much as I love my babies, I love the relationship that age brings.
This should be a quieter week, I think. Today has been anyway. Time to read my Bible and plan the meals while little people play, no urgent chores or events to rush off to. Dinner is in the oven, and we'll pick up Ethan from school before too long. Days like this are such a gift!
And just for fun...a few pics from Halloween. :)
This should be a quieter week, I think. Today has been anyway. Time to read my Bible and plan the meals while little people play, no urgent chores or events to rush off to. Dinner is in the oven, and we'll pick up Ethan from school before too long. Days like this are such a gift!
And just for fun...a few pics from Halloween. :)
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Bunch of Pilgrims
I was able to help in Ethan's class today. Love, love, LOVE to do this! Someday when all my kids are in school I want to be up there way more than I am now, but for the time being, I volunteer when I can find a sitter for Clare (she's not the quietest kid!).
Today was the 1st grade Thanksgiving Party, and Simon and I were in charge of bringing the stuff to make mini cornbread muffins. It is so much fun to be in the classroom and get to know E's friends. They are just so cute! Simon just sits and takes it all in...probably thinking about his turn to go to school. ;) It does look pretty dreamy!
Every time I am there, Ethan's desk is in a different spot. I think he talks a little too much. ;)
Actually, I know he does...but he has been working on it. This year has been considerably harder for him - not academically, but definitely behaviorally. He of course has trouble sitting still (from the looks of it, most of them do), but its not just that. He flies through his work and then while others are still writing, he talks. :) Or tries to make someone laugh. Or gets out of his seat. Not good. So we've had lots of talks and creative discipline...and it seems to us (and to his teacher) that his heart is to do what is right, even though he struggles making the day to day choices about it.
He is learning to take more time on his school work, focus on penmanship and making things neat. And to write his *observations* down for his teacher to read later, instead of blurting them out right away. :)
It has been so encouraging to us to see him actually succeed. To see his face light up when he can give a good report at the end of the school day. It has been a good opportunity to talk about authority and respect...and God's grace for when we mess up. And His ever present help too. So many things to learn when you're 6. :)
This Thanksgiving I'm very thankful for a school where the Word of God is taught and where they place value on applying it to the issues of life. For teachers who love your children and pray for wisdom in how to train their hearts. And for little boys who truly want to obey.
Even when it's way more fun to make the whole class laugh! ;)
Today was the 1st grade Thanksgiving Party, and Simon and I were in charge of bringing the stuff to make mini cornbread muffins. It is so much fun to be in the classroom and get to know E's friends. They are just so cute! Simon just sits and takes it all in...probably thinking about his turn to go to school. ;) It does look pretty dreamy!
Every time I am there, Ethan's desk is in a different spot. I think he talks a little too much. ;)
Actually, I know he does...but he has been working on it. This year has been considerably harder for him - not academically, but definitely behaviorally. He of course has trouble sitting still (from the looks of it, most of them do), but its not just that. He flies through his work and then while others are still writing, he talks. :) Or tries to make someone laugh. Or gets out of his seat. Not good. So we've had lots of talks and creative discipline...and it seems to us (and to his teacher) that his heart is to do what is right, even though he struggles making the day to day choices about it.
He is learning to take more time on his school work, focus on penmanship and making things neat. And to write his *observations* down for his teacher to read later, instead of blurting them out right away. :)
It has been so encouraging to us to see him actually succeed. To see his face light up when he can give a good report at the end of the school day. It has been a good opportunity to talk about authority and respect...and God's grace for when we mess up. And His ever present help too. So many things to learn when you're 6. :)
This Thanksgiving I'm very thankful for a school where the Word of God is taught and where they place value on applying it to the issues of life. For teachers who love your children and pray for wisdom in how to train their hearts. And for little boys who truly want to obey.
Even when it's way more fun to make the whole class laugh! ;)
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